I’m tackling the list a bit at a time. I thought I’d write more as I read through them, but for the most part nothing came to mind beyond acknowledging them. A few things touched off other thoughts, but not as many as I anticipated. I’m not sure if it’s because I feel like exploring deeper is pointless; if I’ve said what I wanted to say; or I’ve simply accepted some of them.
Spoiler Alert: 18/18 Bummer.
Early Maladaptive Schemas
1. ABANDONMENT / INSTABILITY – The perceived instability or unreliability of those available for support and connection. Yes.
2. MISTRUST / ABUSE – The expectation that others will hurt, abuse, humiliate, cheat, lie, manipulate, or take advantage. Yes, though I’m learning better to not expect this from everyone.
3. EMOTIONAL DEPRIVATION – Expectation that one’s desire for a normal degree of emotional support will not be adequately met by others. Yes, though I’m learning others are willing to be here for me.
4. DEFECTIVENESS / SHAME – The feeling that one is defective, bad, unwanted, inferior, or invalid in important respects; or that one would be unlovable to significant others if exposed. Yes. As much as I know this isn’t true, I battle it in my head every single day.
5. SOCIAL ISOLATION / ALIENATION – The feeling that one is isolated from the rest of the world, different from other people, and/or not part of any group or community. Yes. This is changing. I’m starting to find people with whom I fit. God bless the internet.
6. DEPENDENCE / INCOMPETENCE – Belief that one is unable to handle one’s everyday responsibilities in a competent manner, without considerable help from others. Yes. Also another battle every day in my head.
The Project: Me by Judy 
I can see these schemas in myself. Small steps and some seem to be intertwined. #5 has been one I started tackling last year and have seen progress on it recently. I started to not isolate myself and even when in a bout of depression that perpetuates isolation I manage to ‘make’ myself reach out, attend my social events, talk to others, etc. And I found that through #5, #1,2,3 started to get better.
By: TR on May 12, 2015
at 2:20 am
Excellent point! Those things are closely intertwined. I’m also learning to ask for what I need from those I trust. I’m not particularly good at it, but I’m better than I used to be. Thanks for sharing that ((TR))
By: Judy on May 12, 2015
at 6:21 am
The asking for what one needs is wonderful progress. Taking steps to do so is very healing. Me2, work in progress. ((Judy))
By: TR on May 12, 2015
at 7:23 am
I clicked through to that post, and I don’t think I’ve hit all 18 (the grandiosity/entitlement one in particular doesn’t fit me nor does the pessimistic outlook), but the large majority do. A part of me has surrendered to my “other”-ness. I think I do have a degree of trust in people, but not for big things.
By: Judith / soveryslightlymad on May 12, 2015
at 6:30 am
I was surprised by how some of the things manifested themselves in me.
Those big things are a real leap of faith. I tend to keep a level of distrust tucked way in the background. Part of the battle is not allowing it to take center stage.
By: Judy on May 12, 2015
at 6:41 am
[…] Early Maladaptive Schemas Judy’s 1-6 https://theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com/2015/05/12/roots-to-blossom-post/ […]
By: What has changed in two years? | PTSD - Accepting, Coping, Thriving on February 4, 2017
at 10:16 pm