Posted by: Judy | July 18, 2018

Meme Debunking

I do meme debunking. My sister does meme busting. This one is on suicide and worth sharing:

https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2018/07/15/meme-buster/

Awareness is vital. Not lying to ourselves is invaluable.

The problem with many memes is that they put everything into a tiny box that’s manageable. Too often, it keeps people from looking beyond and seeing the whole picture. The box is an illusion. It isn’t the only possibility. Sometimes, it’s a lie.

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Posted by: Judy | July 17, 2018

Attitude Adjustment

This is the end of week one. I wanted to track my progress, for a little while.

Learned something interesting: Saying I’m excited instead of nervous works sometimes but not always. If I fail to address why I’m nervous, the anxiety escalates. Rule #1: Stop lying, especially to myself.

Once I address why my anxiety is rising, “I’m excited” is a good way to reframe. It’s a healthy next step, after wrangling, identifying, and confronting the problem.

It isn’t enough to acknowledge a problem, accept responsibility for what is my part, and not allow it to control me. I needed a way to step forward in a positive mindset, something I’ve never been good at doing.

I was always working to keep from drowning. I learned to tread water. I think this is a step in learning how to swim. I’m excited. 🙂

Posted by: Judy | July 16, 2018

Efficiency Falacy

I was raised to believe that everything can be done better and faster, which meant smarter. Efficiency became a form of tyranny.

Nothing I did was exempt from careful inspection, being picked apart, analyzed, and a plan instigated to improve my shortcoming. I could do something perfectly, and I could receive a critique on how I could have done it more perfectly by doing it faster.

My most memorable rebellion occurred only a few years ago. It’s memorable because I succeeded in silencing the insanity.

There’s a door to the basement. Sometimes it’s open, and sometimes it’s closed. When small children are in the house, it’s understood the door is to remain closed. Growing up, I was repeatedly chastised for not closing the door. Sometimes, I remembered; sometimes, I didn’t. I was never praised for closing the door. For the past decade or two, it’s been less of an issue. Sometimes I was criticized; sometimes, I wasn’t. It depended on how controlling Mother needed to be at the moment. The sad part is that the whole thing was about control. Note of importance: I’m not the only one who leaves the door open. I’m the one who had to be controlled.

A few years of counseling, with my last counselor, taught me a great deal I needed to learn; things I should have learned growing up. Better late than never.

Mother was in one of her need to control everything cycles and recited the oft heard words: “What can we do to make sure you never forget to _______ again?” In this case, it was ‘close the door.’

This question always terrified me. No matter what I answered she would always have a better idea. I was wrong. No matter what.

Thanks to what I’d learned, I thought before I answered. Abusers push for an answer, right now, this minute, hurry up. They never give you time to think because you might figure out that their question/demand is unreasonable.

Why did that tactic fail this time? My counselor had taught me that a gun wasn’t being held to my head. Really. That was his go-to tactic when I wanted to say “I have to…” He’d look at one side of my head and then the other. “I don’t see a gun being held to your head.” I had to own my choices. A child is in a different position, but I was an adult. I accepted the lesson.

I didn’t rise to the bait to be angry and replied, “I’ll do it perfectly when you do it perfectly.” I stated the truth. It was never brought up again.

Unfortunately, the battering continues to live in my psyche. I’m always looking for ways to do things better, faster, smarter.

God decided it was time to unlearn that bit of insanity. Blessedly, He chose a relatively painless, if frustrating, path. It took me two tries for it to take.

Taking my check to deposit, I figured it would be faster, ergo better and smarter, to take out my driver’s license ahead of time. I arrived at the bank only to realize I couldn’t find my license. I had to go home and look for my license. This happened twice. The first time, my dad found it between the console and driver’s seat. The second time, I found it on the floor in my room. Lesson learned. Leave it in my wallet until I arrive. Yes, it takes a few seconds more to take it out of my wallet, but I know where it is. It’s less stressful than misplacing it. That’s better and smarter and, in the long run, faster.

I still wonder if I can do some things more efficiently, but I endeavor to consider whether it’s worth the time and effort to figure it out. Live and learn.

Posted by: Judy | July 15, 2018

Inspiration from Motivating Daily

I’m bless to have a few people like this in my life:

https://motivatingdaily.com/2016/12/06/friendship-2/

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posted by: Judy | July 14, 2018

Silly Saturday

Post by Good Time Stories:

https://goodtimestories.wordpress.com/2016/12/27/things-kids-teach-us-about-life/

I found this in my “Drafts” folder and have no idea why I didn’t publish it sooner. Better late than never.

Posted by: Judy | July 13, 2018

Good News Friday

*Taking care of my ankle

*Walk and P.croissant with my sister

*Lemon croissant and hot chocolate with whipped cream

*Finished The Blessing Basket

*Sent The Blessing Basket to the editor

*Blessed rain after 119 days without rain, 2 days in a row. Thanks God for watering the yard for me.

*No loss of power

*My friend Debbie has her internet back, after being without it for several days. I missed her inspiring posts on social media. God is good.

*Lunch with a few family members

*Homemade chicken salad

*Strawberry/banana jell-o with fresh strawberries and bananas

*My sister’s homemade chocolate cake

What was something good in your week?

Posted by: Judy | July 12, 2018

Taste Test Fun…

I’ve shut down my computer for the last two evenings, due to thunderstorms. I confess I’ve never fully recovered from my computer blowing up thanks to a close lightning strike. Though I had a surge protector, the zap came through the cable modem, frying both the modem and the computer. Storms are predicted every evening this week.

To lighten things up, I’m sharing a few of the new foods I’ve discovered, in my quest to eat healthier.

Tim Tam from Australia. Yes, I know, they’re cookies. Oh, excuse me, biscuits. 🙂 Not soy free. I found them on the clearance shelf when I went shopping this week. One of my Australian author friends bragged about them, a few years ago. I’ve since seen recipes for them. The opportunity to give them a try dropped in my lap, so to speak. Why not? They’re delicious.

Garden of Eatin’ Sweet Potato Corn Chips. Sorry, but if corn is the first ingredient it’s Corn Sweet Potato Chips. Soy free. They are yummy.

SunButter Sunflower Butter. This is a variation on peanut butter using sunflower seeds. Soy free. I may never eat peanut better again. Delicious.

Private Selection Meyer Lemon Shortbread Cookies. No soy. This was, unfortunately, listed as discontinued. Pity. They’re the best lemon cookies I’ve eaten in a long time.

An updated recipe on my breakfast drink: 1 cup whole milk. 1/2 cup coconut milk. 1 envelope Carnation Instant Breakfast Chocolate. 2 T. pumpkin puree. 1 frozen banana. 3-4 frozen strawberries. 5-10 frozen cherries. 1/2 cup frozen blueberries. 3 shakes of cinnamon. 2 shakes of nutmeg and ginger. 1 shake of cloves. 1 pinch of flax seed flour. 1 pinch of lavender. Blend.

Posted by: Judy | July 11, 2018

Reading List 66-70

66. Charity’s Code (Episode 3 of the Virtues and Valor series) by Hallee Bridgeman World War II romance. Hallee uses real WWII heroines as her inspiration for this series. She relates the real story of the heroine or events who inspired the episode.

67. A Parcel for Prudence (Episode 4 of the Virtues and Valor series) by Hallee Bridgeman World War II romance. Hallee uses real WWII heroines as her inspiration for this series. She relates the real story of the heroine or events who inspired the episode.

68. Grace’s Ground War (Episode 5 of the Virtues and Valor series) by Hallee Bridgeman World War II romance. Hallee uses real WWII heroines as her inspiration for this series. She relates the real story of the heroine or events who inspired the episode. Amazing bits of history.

69. Mission of Mercy (Episode 6 of the Virtues and Valor series) by Hallee Bridgeman World War II romance. Hallee uses real WWII heroines as her inspiration for this series. She relates the real story of the heroine or events who inspired the episode.

70. Flight of Faith (Episode 7 of the Virtues and Valor series) by Hallee Bridgeman World War II romance. Hallee uses real WWII heroines as her inspiration for this series. She relates the real story of the heroine or events who inspired the episode.

Posted by: Judy | July 10, 2018

Attitude Change

My sister and I talk through a lot of things that end up in our blogs. We glean information from similar sources and from completely different sources. We have different interests but the same goal to heal.

This is her recent blog on worry:

https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2018/07/06/worry-is-a-bully/

Last week, I saw a video posted on one of my social media feeds. Simon Sinek, author of “Start with Why,” talked about the difference between nervous and excited. He related how reporters, at the Olympics, ask every athlete the same question, “Were you nervous?” The athletes all responded the same way, “No, I was excited.”

Both states of being have the same physical response. The difference is in how it is perceived.

What would happen if I changed my perspective?

I’m going to see. I’m not nervous; I’m excited.

Posted by: Judy | July 9, 2018

I knew you before…

(Found this in the Draft Folder from June of last year. Don’t know how that happened but sharing it now because, as it turns out, I needed this reminder right now.)

…you were formed in the womb. This is what God tells Jeremiah in the Bible. If God knew Jeremiah, then He knew me. This is when I have to remind myself that God is omniscient, all knowing.

What brought this on? I was out for my walk nattering at God about my knee giving me trouble. I wanted to go home, but I remembered David Goggins. He had a lousy childhood. He’s a Navy SEAL and runs ultra marathons. He is the definition of Never Quit. He isn’t a natural athlete. I can’t complain about being overweight because at one time he weighed almost 300 pounds.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Goggins

Here’s an interview with him:

http://teamneverquit.com/podcast/david-goggins-part-deux-navy-seal-ultra-athlete-beyond-motivated/

My tendon and ligament problem was reduced to nothing. I wasn’t stupid and tried to walk my usual 1-1/2 miles, but I stopped whining about going a mile. God brought to my mind that He knew about my knee troubles and everything else. He knew before I was born.

It occurred to me that He also knew what to do to make things right. Busted. God has told me over and over, but I’ve been slow to follow His guidance. Before I could beat myself up (this is GINORMOUS progress), I recognized that I am walking more. I’ve increased my physical therapy. I’m more careful about making sure I sleep better. I’m eating better, still not great but better. I’m improving. I’m more aware. I’m making healthy changes. Not as fast as Goggins, but I’m still doing so much better. Go me!

Then I read Mustard Seed Blogs post on waiting:

https://mustardseedblogs.wordpress.com/2017/07/18/are-we-there-yet/

I’m waiting to become healthier. I’m working while I’m waiting. I’m impatient. I want to be consistent and glossing over the fact that I am more consistent than I used to be. I’m healthier than I used to be.

Of course, my mind goes down the rabbit hole to all the other ways I’m falling short, like my writing. Yeah, that’s a big one for me. I used to write 1,000-2,000 words on a daily basis and 5,000 on a great day. Haven’t done that in a while. I’m impatient.

God has me doing other things. I’m still working and learning a different kind of balance than I’ve ever known. I’ve shuffled priorities. I’m changing, for the better. I hope… I am.

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