Old Testament and Israelite Failings

In Sunday School, we discussed the Israelite repeated falling back into old habits, complaining and worshiping idols instead of God, even after He rescued them repeatedly. Condemnation for their faithlessness was easy and obvious. I remember doing that myself.

But God.

Whispers in my heart reminded me of all the times God delivered me, all the times He blessed me, and yet, the moment I face another trial, my faith wavers. Will God deliver me, this time?

Granted, my history can’t be dismissed, and I don’t think God expects me to do so. Horrors occurred in my life from which I was not spared nor delivered. I don’t worry about things that never happened; I worry about things that have happened happening again. Job wasn’t spared. John the Baptist wasn’t delivered.

I’ve never made a golden calf, but how often do I think “If I pray enough…if I read the scriptures enough…if I serve others enough…if I just have enough faith…” I don’t worship the golden calf, but haven’t I turned prayer, the Bible, service, and even faith into an idol? I look to those things to deliver me instead of focusing on the true deliverer, God. Those things help me draw closer to God, but if I pretend that enough will somehow gain me more, then haven’t I made the doing of them idols? They’ve become boxes to check as done. Doing those things will not and cannot make God love me more. He already loves me immeasurably. Those things are gifts He gave to help me learn Him not coins to be slotted into a blessing vending machine.

I remind myself that the Bible stories are snapshots, moments in time recorded to help me learn more about God. If anyone took a snapshot of me during any given moment when my world blows up, it isn’t a pretty picture. I fall to pieces, my faith falters, fear reigns; I forget to trust God.

Blessedly, the story isn’t stuck in a moment or two or three. I’m granted the blessing of repentance, to bolster my faith, to refocus on God, to ask, seek, knock, an ongoing, lifelong endeavor. God proved it through the Israelite journey. I’m traveling the same path but without the whole world given the opportunity to sit back and judge the bits and pieces revealed in the written word, God’s Word. He chose these stories not to condemn those in the past but guide me through the same journey, to assure me it’s possible because it’s been done before, over and over, with the evidence written for my reading and learning.