Posted by: Judy | April 21, 2020

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Learning to be at peace with myself is a challenge. I’m accustomed to the sensation of rats running around in my brain, fretting about this, that, and the other thing. Fighting to anticipate so as to avoid punishment for errors real and imagined. Decades of training are a challenge to overcome. For a long time, too long, I believed that if I turned my life over to God, then everything would magically be manageable. I believed that because I still struggled over the littlest things that I’d somehow failed in my Christian walk. Why should God help me if I couldn’t properly turn my life over to Him? I didn’t understand that working through my struggles was part of my process, part of God’s plan for me. I didn’t understand that God saw the learning and growing in the stumbling and falling. God wasn’t punishing me for failing. God’s grace ensured those efforts meant something to Him. I still don’t see through God’s eyes, but I’m learning to see how shortsighted my own vision is.


Responses

  1. Very true Judy. As babies we didn’t start out walking. There was a lot of falling down before we learned. I feel if God just gave us perfection, what would we learn?


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