Posted by: Judy | November 23, 2020


…learning to bridle passions. Not squash or kill but control. Passions are what we care about, where we invest our time, money, energy, thoughts, emotions, things like reading, movies, games.

Someone said that we live in a world that seeks escapism, books, movies, social media, etc. I stopped and asked myself, “Am I seeking mindless escapism?” My knee-jerk reaction was, “Yeah, I do. I want the happily ever after. I want to forget about my troubles.”

I’ve learned to step back from those knee-jerk answers and search deeper.

People will say that because I read romance novels, I’m all about escapism, except I’m not. In examining my choices, I’m discovering that I’m not really interested in mindless escape. My favorite authors and movies also inspire me, broaden my perspective, teach me something I need to learn.

More books than I care to count have ended up in the trash or given away, over the years. I’ve become more discriminating as the years have passed. My favorites are books that uplift and inspire me to be a better person. I’ve stopped watching television shows because I may have enjoyed them at one time, but I’ve discovered others I like better.

I used to eat any chocolate I could get my hands on. Over the years, I’ve discovered a lot of chocolate is easy to forgo because it’s forgettable, meh, and, in truth, some of it’s awful. Some of it is okay, and some of it is even pretty good.

However, is it good enough to invest my calories and money? Ah, both need to be considered. I’ve eaten chocolate that was absolutely divine, but I can’t justify paying a small fortune for it.

Yes, I’m passionate about food, but I’m nowhere near being the foodie that people I know are. I enjoy television shows about cooking but don’t bother with the ones that are geared toward food I can’t eat. I’m learning to find healthier choices that are still yummy.

I’m not the horse person others are, but I still love them. I’ve invested some time and energy. Practicality has won out on that one. Owning a horse isn’t cheap or easy.

I love dogs, but my dad won’t let me have another dog.

I love good books — one need only look at my reading list, every year. I’m willing to invest in authors I love. For me, books are an opportunity to spend time with a friend. I want to spend it wisely.


  1. You are right about horses. they are a black hole for money. Even if someone gives you a horse as a gift you will soon have the expenses of feed, bedding, farrier, veterinary treatment and so on it goes. It sounds to me like you are refining your priorities and that is excellent.

    • Funny you should mention that as I bought my horse for a dollar. πŸ™‚ Not sorry for all the money spent; he was worth every penny. I’m grateful God gave me the unexpected gift. ❀

  2. I smiled when someone told you that people who read books, social media, etc are escaping life. Anything we do in life is about escaping boredom, I think. The goal is to be active in doing things that make us happy… and what makes one person happy, does not make another person happy.

    So, I laugh, if that person said I was escaping and trying to make fun of me… I would say, β€œI SURE AM and I LOVE EVERY MINUTE of it!”

    Wonderful that you have books and other things that make you smile!! It’s what life is about. Happy Thanksgiving!

    • I think being able to laugh at yourself is a great gift, and not everyone possesses it. It’s a gift I want to cultivate. I’ve struggled with being too serious. Happy Thanksgiving!

      • It’s very easy… once you realize you don’t want to be controlled or bullied by anyone, as soon as someone says something derogatory, you KNOW it’s not true, and you make a joke out of it.

        Basically, people who say hurtful things WANT you to react in a sad way, so when you are positive and show confidence that their mean comments don’t bother…

        AT FIRST, they will try to hurt you more, but THEN I learned that I would say, “Look, if that is the ONLY conversation you have, I’m out of here… or I’m going to the kitchen… or I’m going “somewhere.” I disengage.

        Try it — if a friend or family member says something hurtful, push your chair back with authority and say, “NOT THIS AGAIN.” And walk away. They will yell to you, “Geez, what’s your problem, blah, blah, blah.” BY THEN, you are out of ear shot.

        Feel confident, act confident and EXPECT Respect. It works…. give it a try. YOU CAN DO IT.

        • I went straight to ignoring and walking away. This gives me another tool in my toolbox for when I’m “stuck.” πŸ™‚

          • Yes, LOL, pretend you have high heels on, do it with attitude. πŸ™‚

            • πŸ˜€

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