Posted by: Judy | October 13, 2020

SM series Step 6

I was blessed with my horse for five years. Old age and health problems caught up to him. It’s never an easy decision. During that time, I completed another certificate. Career #4. God has a way of preparing for endings and beginnings. For me, He sets me on a path and when the end nears He guides me onto another path. The two blend for a time, and then the last fades away and I’m on a new adventure. I was in my final year with my horse when 9-11 happened. A story for another time. Not long after that, the first movie installment of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy made its appearance. I’d read the book, twice, as a tween. I didn’t have any friends who loved the book or even read it. One more oddity that made me different, not fit in, except no one knew but me. The movie, by God’s grace, opened the door to my emotions. I’d spent my life trying to squash anything unpleasant and anything too happy, too excited, too enthusiastic. I’d learned the lessons. In that movie, for the first time in my life, I experienced fear for fun and no one made fun of me for being startled or a little afraid. I allowed myself to simply feel everything. Out with my horse, every morning, I spent a lot of time talking to God about the things I was learning about myself. Step 6 : Give yourself permission to spend time talking to God. I didn’t hear much in reply. I admitted to myself how lousy I was at listening. I had a bad habit of supplying the answer I wanted to hear and pretending it was from God. During that time, I learned to talk to God for an hour or two. It was talk to God or talk to the horse. I felt like talking to God might be more productive, and the horse didn’t mind listening in. Yes, I talked out loud. It helped me focus.

~ Laurel Hawkes


  1. Praying out loud helps me to focus too! I am enjoying this series!

    • 🙂

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