Posted by: Judy | June 23, 2020

Mulling

I never thought I’d say this, but I miss church. Granted, going to church is not something I’d say I actually enjoy, but I miss it.

I’ve heard and read a lot of people saying how much more they prefer church at home, watching live stream or zooming or listening to a podcast. Being an introvert, I prefer not being around crowds. I should be one of those happy to be home. I’m not.

Being home requires little effort on my part, very little effort.

Going to church requires me to prepare on numerous levels. It feels like I’m making an offering to God. I’m putting aside my creature comfort to join other followers in worship.

First, I have to mentally and physically carve out the time in my day, time that isn’t flexible to what I want to do. Even grocery shopping is flexible. Earlier or later, even by 15 minutes, doesn’t matter. Church starts at a specific time. Being on time requires me to make getting there a priority.

Second, I need to make sure I have something appropriate to wear. In all honesty, most of what I own is appropriate. I’ve some T-shirts I wouldn’t wear because they’re more work clothes than worship. It’s about preparing my mind and heart. I also wouldn’t wear any of my Renaissance Fair outfits. They’re nice, but they’d make me the center of attention instead of me making worship the center of my attention.

Third, I really have to prepare myself mentally to be surrounded by people. Ignoring them isn’t an option, not like grocery shopping when I can lose myself in my thoughts. I have to pay attention. This can be extra difficult when I’m having trouble hearing and have to read lips to help me understand what’s being said. It would be too easy for me to become completely isolated. That isn’t how God intended us to live.

Fourth, I need to be prepared physically, since I end up not sitting for most of the meeting. I stand at the back and rock on my feet, the way my physical therapist taught me to help loosen my back. The chairs and pews are miserable, torture devices, cutting off the circulation across the back of my legs and straining my back.

Fifth and most important: Attending church is my offering to God. It’s me showing God He is a priority in my life. It’s easy for me to fall into being so laid back I’m inattentive and easily distracted. Church is a sacrifice, an easy sacrifice. God isn’t asking me to give up my life or go to prison; He’s only asking me to give Him a little focused time one morning a week. My study time during the week is often interrupted with distractions, but I always return to it. The purpose of the one morning a week is to help train me to better focus. It requires self discipline.

When I was going to the physical therapist, those once or twice weekly visits were to help me make sure I was progressing and not straying from what my therapist taught me. Sometimes, I’d get a little sloppy, and those appointments helped me clean up my therapy, making it more effective. Church helps me focus on cleaning up my life, every week, making sure I’m living more closely in accordance with God’s teaching.

So, though I’m not a fan of large groups and uncomfortable seating, I’m looking forward to returning to church. I have a sneaky hunch God is laughing at me and shaking His head, but He loves me anyway.


Responses

  1. The idea of you wearing a Renaissance dress to church made me laugh! 😀

    • 😀


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