Posted by: Judy | February 26, 2020

This week in Beauty

Many of the foods suggested aren’t healthy for me. Some made me laugh, making me feel like a stretch was made. I want to finish the book. I also want to delve into the Bible myself. I’ve studied specific topics before but never beauty.

The more I’ve thought about it, the more the diet specifics are okay but not “special.” They lived on the Mediterranean, so they had a Mediterranean diet. I grew up in a landlocked state. Fresh seafood was unheard of until it became common practice to fly in fresh seafood, daily.

Diet is a huge problem for me. My relationship with food is horrendous. It was a major way my mother could control me. Not only telling me what I could and couldn’t eat but what she made available. I wasn’t allowed to eat leftovers because I was taking food out of the mouths of the other family members. Yes, she really said that. She was going to use that less of a single serving of tuna casserole in the leftovers concoction she was serving for dinner. I wasn’t allowed to eat my own birthday cake. Oh, I was given a piece on my birthday, but after that my brothers and father ate the rest of the cake. My brothers would eat graham crackers and milk after school. I wasn’t allowed to have it. One brother did sneak some to me, until I was punished for eating between meals. It never happened again. I could get away with stealing saltines, if I wasn’t greedy. She never resorted to counting how many crackers were in a sleeve.

I became a junk food junkie. I could buy it from the corner store and hide it in my room. It rarely contained anything I was allergic to, like whole grains.

I wasn’t allowed to work and go to school, and I was expected to go to school, including going to the local college. In order to move out, I had to have a job, but I wasn’t allowed to work and go to college. I was trapped. I was also terrorized into staying home. Horrible things happened to girls who lived on their own. I’ll spare you the gory details my mother seemed to relish describing. Even better was if a news item was about a young woman living alone was attacked or killed. Proof.

Every once in a while, I need to remind myself that it’s a miracle I turned out as well as I did. I still have a lot of problems, but it could have been so much worse. I’ve worked hard to re-parent myself. Not entirely successfully but I’m doing better.

I’ve also worked hard to improve my diet. I eat far better than I ever have in my life. I will continue to make slow changes for the healthier. I think that’s the real challenge: To constantly work to be better than my former self.


Responses

  1. Eeesh. This all feels familiar. Not the details so much but the “stuff” behind it. I can feel the panic rising up in my chest,lol. I think to be able to write about your stuff shows just how far you’ve come. ā¤
    You're doing awesome in your life!

    • Now that you mention it, I don’t feel the stress I once did with this subject. Thanks for reminding me I’ve come a long way. Woohoo!

      • Wooooohoo is right! SO awesome. I’m happy to help facilitate, lol.

        • šŸ™‚ ā¤


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