Posted by: Judy | January 13, 2020

Who Am I?

Les Miserables “Who Am I” Jean val Jean/Colm Wilkinson

https://youtu.be/Mh2OuObDl_Q

I saw the original cast back in 1986, when I spent a summer in England. It was the new hit musical. Unforgettable.

Memories of who I was and how I thought flooded in. I’ve made a lot of good changes. I’m healthier on so many levels. I weighed less then, but my eating habits were atrocious, a junk food junkie extraordinaire. The negative chatter in my head was constant and brutal. The demons I fought won sometimes. Thank God, I was blessed with three amazing counselors, each at the right time for what I needed at the time.

I did do some incredibly brave things, working in Yellowstone, serving a mission, spending the summer in England, visiting Scotland, Holland, and France. That lion still lives within, alive and well. It’s the lion that took me to California, takes me to Kentucky, writes and publishes my stories.

The movie “Overcomer” encourages searching deeper. I grew up knowing I was a child of God. What I didn’t grasp was what it means. The negative messaging was so loud that it was often impossible to hear those gentle whisperings of the Lord’s spirit.

From Ephesians 1 and 2 ~

What I’ve had trouble embracing:

*Grace and peace have been given to me from God the Father.

*God has blessed me with spiritual blessings. (This fits both places.)

*I am holy and without blame before him in love.

*He has made me accepted in the beloved.

*I have been redeemed through his blood, forgiven of my sins.

*He has made known unto me the mystery of his will. (Fits both places.)

*I trust Christ.

*I am a new creature in Christ.

What I’ve embraced:

*I am faithful in Jesus Christ

*God has blessed me with spiritual blessings. (This fits both places.)

*He has chosen me

*I am adopted into His family

*He has made known unto me the mystery of his will. (Fits both places.)

*I have obtained an inheritance

*I have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.

*I have been purchased with a price, for his glory.

*I have been given wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of God

*I have hope.

*Because of Christ, I will rise from the dead.

*God loves me.

*I am saved by grace through faith.

*I am God’s workmanship.

*Christ Jesus is my peace.

*I have access to the Father.

*I am a fellow citizen with the saints in the household of God.

Wow. I embrace a great deal more than I realized. It’s also interesting to note that I contradict myself in what I embrace and what I struggle with embracing. I think it’s a matter of fine-tuning. Life, obviously, is complicated. Many of the things I embrace are head knowledge, but I struggle with the heart knowledge, truly believing it applies to me. I know God doesn’t lie, so the struggle is me working to lay to rest the lies I was taught and embrace the truth.


Responses

  1. I know what you mean. We know God loves us and forgives us. But many days we don’t feel it deep within our hearts. We have to remind ourselves of this truth over and over.

    • True


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