Posted by: Judy | August 6, 2019

Delving into Sorry by another blogger…

I read this and wanted to read it again, so I’m sharing it here. A friend shared this blogger’s post on social media, and I’ve followed ever since. I think it holds merit for everyone.

I learned something new. I’m one of those who says, “It’s okay” or “It’s fine.” Brad is right. It isn’t okay, and it isn’t fine.

Interestingly enough, I don’t like it when people respond, “It’s okay” or “It’s fine.” I know it isn’t. It isn’t a lack of sincerity but… minimizing. It minimizes what was happened.

I understand not wanting to make a big deal of bobbles and bumps. I do. I also recognize that there are those who will complain about making too much out of nothing.

Here’s the problem:

Some people, especially abusers, take advantage of minimizing. “See, they said it was okay and they’re fine.”

When we minimize our own feelings we are disrespecting ourselves. This doesn’t mean we need to make a huge production.

What we don’t do enough:

Acknowledge and respect ourselves. This is a massive struggle for abuse survivors. We’ve been taught we aren’t worthy of respect or even acknowledgement. As we learn those healthy traits, we also learn to give acknowledgement and respect to others. Those who never learn those traits is unable to pass them on to others.

“Be the change you want to see.”

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