Posted by: Judy | March 20, 2019

Twisted Self-Care

I’ve beat myself up, scolded, harangued, sweet-talked (pun intended), in an effort to eat healthier.

The truth: 1) My PC (primary caregiver) fed me food that made me sick and starved me because she didn’t want me to get fat.

2) Junk food never made me sick, unless I ate a whole bag of cookies all at once, which I didn’t do often.

Throughout my childhood, I’d take my meager allowance to the corner store and carefully figure out how I could get the most with what little I had. I could horde candy in my room. Chocolate was more filling. Caramel and chocolate took longer to eat.

For the record, sometimes I’d invest in Breyer model horses. As I moved into my teens, I’d invest in clothes. My PC would only buy me pretty clothes, dresses appropriate for Sunday meetings but not practical for everyday wear. The local FedMart offered cheap clothes that fit me off-the-rack.

The insanity: I’m beating myself up for eating the junk food I ate growing up to keep from going hungry.

The truth: I’m eating much healthier now than ever before in my life.

I really need to learn to stop beating myself up.


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