Posted by: Judy | February 12, 2019

Let it go, but I don’t…

As I’ve been working mindfully to let go of the past, I’ve caught myself mulling and reviewing. I know I need to let go, so why don’t I do it?

After more mulling, I realized that I tend to review the past for a reason. I’m feeling healthy, and then I mess up. Normal. Healthy. However, the mental beating I give myself is not normal or healthy. It’s an old habit.

Those times I delve back into the past serve a purpose. I’m not having a pity party or refusing to let go. I’m reminding myself how far I’ve come. Though I’ve come a long way, the past still trips me up, from time to time. It isn’t a catastrophe. The trips down memory lane are to remind me that there’s a reason I messed up and it isn’t because I was lazy or stupid or not good enough.

I was broken to pieces and used by others for their own purposes. With God’s help, I’ve worked hard to put the pieces together. God, in His loving kindness and wisdom, has added beauty beyond my comprehension. I don’t see it yet, but He is the master artist. Sometimes, He lovingly reminds me why I am the way I am. It isn’t because I was bad; it’s because life happened. He saw it before I came here and planned for it and now we’re creating beauty from ashes.


  1. Praise God for the testimony and your progress!

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