Posted by: Judy | January 16, 2019

Stressed!

My sleep is erratic. My eating is not particularly healthy. I’m out of sorts.

Why?

I’m making numerous changes, all at once. They’re changes I need to make. They’re changes I want to make. Changes are inevitable. I happen to believe it’s better to choose the changes for myself. I’ve a vague idea of where I’m headed. Surprise changes are more difficult. No way to prepare.

To become more like my Savior, I must change. This is a lifelong project. I understand this. I know this. Understanding and knowing doesn’t make it easier.

What are my changes?

I’m studying my scriptures more.

I’m attending church more.

I’m curbing my spending more. I’m re-allocating how I spend what little I have. It’s a challenge. It’s also stressful. Finances have always been a constant worry. I wasn’t taught good finance habits. In truth, I was taught I wasn’t worthy of being paid for my work. I know I shouldn’t think that way, but I still do. I’m working on it.

I’m sorting favorite books for releasing. They were favorites for a reason, but I’ve grown and improved; they don’t fit who I am now. Some I’ve let go already, others I’m moving to storage. I’m not quite ready to let them go yet, but I’m working on it.

I’m letting go of habits that served me well but no longer fit.

I’m shifting clothes in my closet that don’t fit anymore. It’s more difficult than I thought it would be to let go of clothes I enjoyed wearing but are now too big. I wouldn’t mind so much if it were a significant change. It isn’t. It’s only enough to make it frustrating.

The current chapter I’m working on in rewrites has expanded significantly in size. I’ve changed telling to dialogue and added more details. Like most authors, I question my skills. Am I making the story better or simply longer?

Doubts and questions. I endeavor to live in faith. I’m not perfect.


Responses

  1. This is beautiful

    • Thank you.

  2. Change is indeed a lifelong project! And, none of us is perfect…good for you – working on ‘you’!

    • πŸ™‚

  3. Love your mouse… It’s the start of the NEW year, I think we are all going through this!

    • Good to not be alone, but sorry so many people are struggling with me. πŸ™‚

      • Struggling is good… makes us strong, makes us think creatively and we know it is a matter of time before it is smooth sailing.

        • Truth. πŸ™‚


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