Posted by: Judy | June 6, 2017

Weight… again

I’m hoping that eventually I’ll work things out in my head to the point where things make sense and I’m able to make the changes I want to make.

Interestingly enough, Papberry posted an article about love, including loving yourself. I realized I still don’t love myself, but I’m learning.

My struggle with weight is multifaceted.

Sleep is improving. I’m finding things that help and am more consistent.

Exercise is only limited by my occasional injuries. I know how to work around them and work back to non-injured levels.

Eating. Yes, my dragon, bugaboo, head-banging struggle. My eating addiction isn’t too different from alcohol or drugs, the difference being that I can’t go cold turkey. I know, I’ve mentioned this before.

I’ve had a habit of finger-pointing at food as my weight problem. I’m willing to acknowledge now it’s only part of the four-part equation. It’s the part I struggle with most, next to stress.

Stress is the factor I forget to consider in the equation, even though I know my eating is worse when I’m not handling my stress and cortisol is brutal on my attempts to maintain my weight. Even if I eat the same, my weight will increase when I’m stressed. I’m working on improving my handling of it, believing in myself, as in believing I’m capable.

My last counselor started the process, and I have two friends now who are encouraging me to find peace with myself and be more a lion than a sheep, choosing courage over fear. There’s nothing magical, simply choosing courage every time. When I fail, I accept the consequences and decide to make a different choice next time. Choosing to be a lion is growing easier with practice.

I’m not quite sure what to do about the food. It’s helpful to see it as part of the problem instead of THE problem. I’m attempting to make some complete trade outs. It’s harder than I expected. I think practice is the key here, too.


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