Changes over which I have absolutely no control are coming. Fretting will not change what’s coming. I’m choosing to place my trust in God. I accept things could go wrong. It won’t be my fault. I’ve done what I could, what I know how to do. I’m endeavoring to learn and grow.
I don’t know how long the zen is going to last. I’m gratefully accepting it and endeavoring to not anticipate the end. Good and bad both come and go. Anticipating either doesn’t change the timetable. Silly as it sounds, I truly believed I could somehow hold off worse from happening by living in anxiety.
Why? Because the worse wasn’t so bad if it didn’t have an immediate contrast to the good. The anxiety acted as a transition. It holds a certain logic, except that I end up spending more time in anxiety than in any other state. I cheat myself of the happy moments. I’m tired of making my own life miserable all in the hope of making it less miserable. How crazy is that?
I think I’m making some significant changes. I’m hesitant to give a definitive ‘yes’ because what if I’m wrong? What if I backslide? And isn’t that slipping back into the old habit? Practice.
Life is good.
God is in control.
Give the battle to God.
Praise God in the storm.