…in the middle of the week. I talked with an estate planner, yesterday. I’ve meant to do this for years but kept putting it off. I don’t have much of an estate. What was the point?
I still don’t have much, but I’m discovering a peace in creating order, to the best of my ability. I’m not escaping this life alive, and I’m okay with that. There was a time when being practical and predictable bothered me. I felt dull and stupid. Now, it brings peace… it also allows me to be more spontaneous with the things that really count like being with friends on short notice.
I’ve always been practical about death. It’s a given. Except when it comes to pets. I miss them. Even as I know they can’t live indefinitely, I mourn for years after their passing. I miss them.
The last year consumed far too much of my life in simply existing. It’s time to move through surviving and embrace thriving. I don’t want to waste any more time. Life’s too short, and there’s so much I want to do. Putting off doing it, procrastinating it, will not buy me more time so I’m able to accomplish those things eventually. Yep, my magical thinking really believes that.
Magical thinking isn’t something I address often. I’m aware it’s a major aspect of the abuse cycle. Perhaps my desire to embrace the practical and predictable is my way of letting go of magical thinking.