Many absolutes are “put out there” that aren’t really absolutes. The most recognizable is “Faith cannot coincide with fear,” except when it does. Yes, faith often replaces fear. However, sometimes fear is a God-given warning of danger.
Love and hate can coincide. God loves His children but hates sin. This never changes.
However, truth and lies can never coincide. Sooner or later, a person must choose one or the other.
NM has chosen lies. EF has also chosen lies. Why does a father/mother choose a relationship with the woman/man who abused their children and then expects their children to have a relationship with them? Any possibility of a relationship with either of them is dead. I’m in mourning, which explains the scattered thinking and the lack of motivation.
My purpose is to make sure the correct medications are put out, unplug the toaster, toaster over, and heating pad, clean the toaster and toaster oven so they don’t catch fire, check that doors are locked, turn on outside lights as needed, clean up messes no one else notices, and when necessary call 9-1-1.
Yes, I’ve mentioned being in mourning over the loss of these relationships before. What’s different this time? I thought I could be supportive through this difficult time. I accept, now, that it requires I lie, turn a blind eye, pretend. I’m done.
I’ve been an unacknowledged caretaker for years. I realize it’s been six years since I’ve had a vacation that wasn’t work-related, and I haven’t even had that in two and a half years. I’m tired. I’m feeling a bit like these roses:
There’s a little bloom in me left.