I started the day with my sister. Great way to start the day. We had plans for lunch with friends. I enjoyed it. The food was yummy and the conversation flowed. I’m learning to disagree without allowing anger to take hold. It’s possible to disagree without being disagreeable. Not something I learned at home. It is something I’ve worked hard to learn.
A friend had a retirement party. I knew a few people sort of. None of them were people I hung out with even once a year in the last two years. Most of them were new. I’d met a few of them six years ago at this friend’s birthday party. However, I was invited. It was important, and we’ve known each other for about fourteen years. We’d met because of our mutual love of Lord of the Rings. I knew they would be nice because my friend is nice. I did not go with the intention to have a great time. I went with the intention to support my friend and endeavor to make others comfortable.
I did pretty good, I think. I enjoyed myself. I think I helped others feel comfortable. Best news: I’m glad I attended.
Needless to say, it was a busy day. I arrived home at 10:30 p.m.
I came home and watched in dismay as a cockroach scuttled under my bedroom door, INTO my bedroom. My brain immediately shifted into what-could-I-have-done-to-avoid-this? I type that and realize how insane that thinking is. Fortunately, I also realized it at the moment. It’s the abuse survivor’s lie: If I’d only done ______, then ______ wouldn’t have happened. It’s the lie we keep telling ourselves in order to feel like we have a little control. The truth: Life happens and sometimes it isn’t pleasant.
Proof I’ve changed: I didn’t cry or scream or any of those unpleasant responses typical of such nasty situations.
Instead: “Okay, God, You created the nasty critter, I’d appreciate you taking care of it. What can I do?” The internet is a wonderful thing. I’m chemical sensitive so can’t use the usual poisons. Three essential oils were listed. I only have one on hand: Tea Tree Oil. My room smelled like tea tree oil for the next 24 hours. I didn’t mind. When I lived in Thailand, the roaches stayed out of the bedroom kept cold at night. I turned down the A/C. I did all within my power. It was time to put in God’s hands. Praising God in the storm.
A few hours later, God delivered the nasty critter into my hands. I accepted the gift. A beloved decorative box sacrificed its all in helping me dispatch the dastardly intruder. Mission accomplished!
The Project: Me by Judy 
Judy, you’re a brave woman. Cockroaches, spiders and snakes are the top 3 “creatures” that make my skin crawl instantly. When I was a kid back home in Romania we lived in an apartment building that had on the 1st floor a grocery store, which made fighting cockroaches impossible. Those things were everywhere, no matter how many chemicals we used….. let me tell you, there were countless times I’d wake up middle of the night for a glass of water and as soon as the light was on, those uglies would “flee” the scene in an instant. There are a lot of things I miss from back home now that I live in the States, but those are NOT on my list 🙂
By: Camelia Miron Skiba on October 5, 2016
at 11:36 am
Ugh! I understand those nightmares. In Thailand, the same thing happened, expect, for some reason, they stayed out of the bedroom. I think it’s because we kept the room ice cold at night and that’s the only time we were in there. In truth, the cockroach was easy compared to the rat I killed while in Thailand. I was nicknamed “The Great Rat Killer.” I don’t miss it at all. 😀
By: Judy on October 5, 2016
at 2:29 pm