I started the day with my sister. Great way to start the day. We had plans for lunch with friends. I enjoyed it. The food was yummy and the conversation flowed. I’m learning to disagree without allowing anger to take hold. It’s possible to disagree without being disagreeable. Not something I learned at home. It is something I’ve worked hard to learn.
A friend had a retirement party. I knew a few people sort of. None of them were people I hung out with even once a year in the last two years. Most of them were new. I’d met a few of them six years ago at this friend’s birthday party. However, I was invited. It was important, and we’ve known each other for about fourteen years. We’d met because of our mutual love of Lord of the Rings. I knew they would be nice because my friend is nice. I did not go with the intention to have a great time. I went with the intention to support my friend and endeavor to make others comfortable.
I did pretty good, I think. I enjoyed myself. I think I helped others feel comfortable. Best news: I’m glad I attended.
Needless to say, it was a busy day. I arrived home at 10:30 p.m.
I came home and watched in dismay as a cockroach scuttled under my bedroom door, INTO my bedroom. My brain immediately shifted into what-could-I-have-done-to-avoid-this? I type that and realize how insane that thinking is. Fortunately, I also realized it at the moment. It’s the abuse survivor’s lie: If I’d only done ______, then ______ wouldn’t have happened. It’s the lie we keep telling ourselves in order to feel like we have a little control. The truth: Life happens and sometimes it isn’t pleasant.
Proof I’ve changed: I didn’t cry or scream or any of those unpleasant responses typical of such nasty situations.
Instead: “Okay, God, You created the nasty critter, I’d appreciate you taking care of it. What can I do?” The internet is a wonderful thing. I’m chemical sensitive so can’t use the usual poisons. Three essential oils were listed. I only have one on hand: Tea Tree Oil. My room smelled like tea tree oil for the next 24 hours. I didn’t mind. When I lived in Thailand, the roaches stayed out of the bedroom kept cold at night. I turned down the A/C. I did all within my power. It was time to put in God’s hands. Praising God in the storm.
A few hours later, God delivered the nasty critter into my hands. I accepted the gift. A beloved decorative box sacrificed its all in helping me dispatch the dastardly intruder. Mission accomplished!