Posted by: Judy | September 15, 2016


Over on one of the social media pages I follow, they posted an article on “Why Nice Guys Stay Single.”

My response:

Choosing to be brutally honest: I always wanted to date a nice guy but knew it was impossible. I grew up in hell and “nice” was a coverup or a setup. “Nice” was confusing. I wore “full body armor” all the time. The “nice” guys skirted me. I don’t blame them. There were a few who managed to become friends, but anything more failed. You see, they were nice to everyone, so what made me different? Special? And everyone else didn’t wear the porcupine quills I did, so why would he be interested in me? I battled to survive every day, and I needed someone who understood that life wasn’t “nice.” Life was ugly, brutal, a war between good and evil every single day. The “nice” guys wanted everything to be “nice.” I’m tenderhearted. I learned the hard way to protect that heart, and the “nice” guys never gave any indication they were willing to battle the monsters to protect me. They were “nice” to everyone, including the monsters in my life. How could I possibly trust “nice?” “Nice” makes for great friends. I don’t expect them to stand beside me in my daily battle. In fact, over and over, they’ve proved they’re not comfortable when things aren’t “nice.” They will abandon me to my battle when it’s no longer “nice.” I’ve lost count of the number of times “nice” guys have complained to me about girls never going out with them even as they’d never asked me out. “Nice” was a means to an end not who they were. Sorry, but being “nice” to the server or other strangers and so many of the other things referred to as being “nice” is called courtesy. It doesn’t mean you’re “nice.”




  1. For me, “nice” was the cover to hide the ugly. Some of the ‘nice’ guys would actually be the cruelest in private. Hugs.

    • Sadly had the same experience. ((Ruth))

  2. […] My sister, Judy, and I walk almost every Saturday morning.  I call our time Sister Therapy.  We talk about her current work in progress books, events, challenges, past, present, you name it we discuss it.  Sometimes we agree and sometimes we don’t, that’s ok.  We learned a long time ago we can disagree without being disagreeable.  Recently, Judy responded to a post about “Nice guys” not getting married.  Her response is at this link: […]

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