Posted by: Judy | August 17, 2016

I’m mean…

…except I’m not.

Grace For My Heart tackled the truth:

https://graceformyheart.wordpress.com/2016/08/12/shouldnt-i-try-to-help/

I’m so grateful for this weekly blog. Pastor Dave helps me maintain my sanity by reminding me I’m not crazy.

I feel like I’m mean because I now ignore NM more often than not. She refuses to respect healthy boundaries. I felt politeness bound to respond when she’d talk to me. I didn’t recognize I was dishonoring my own boundaries. She “ambushes” me, i.e., makes sure she catches me alone and tells me she loves me, completely dismissing the fact she lies about me to others and I know it. She’s done it with me sitting there. My fault for not standing up for myself and calling her on the lie. I admit that I was simply too shocked to respond at all. I also know the long history of the uselessness of defending myself. She will twist the truth until it’s a believable lie, and somehow everything is my fault.

Allowing her to violate/intrude on/ignore my healthy boundaries — choosing to not interact with her — allows her to continue the behavior. She has chosen to not learn anything else. Everyone is to interact with her the way she wants. Anything else is a rejection of her.

How many classes have I taken on interpersonal communication? In school for credit and for free, in church, three counselors. I’m not great at it, but I’m working to improve.

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