I am not required to attend every fight I’m invited to.
I do not have to respond to every demand for attention.
It is not my job to make everyone happy.
It isn’t my job to make anyone happy.
I have enough on my plate without someone else loading their expectations on top of what’s already there.
God knows me and my capabilities.
God’s been teaching me to say “no” in all kinds of ways to all kinds of things and situations. He can’t say “no” for me. The choice is mine. If I choose to not say “no” not defend my own boundary, not turn away from what I believe is wrong, He will not force me. He never forces. It isn’t fair of me to demand Him to “fix” things if I’m not willing to do my part.
I wanted the choices to be obvious. Easy. Life is complicated and messy and rarely crystal clear. As an abuse survivor, I need to remember my perspective was skewed, corrupted, twisted, in order to better serve the abuser. Untwisting, straightening, and dismissing the myriad lies is time intensive, difficult, and messy.
Blessedly, God provided an instruction manual: Scriptures.
He’s even given me the opportunity to ask the teacher any question I want, whenever I want: Prayer.
My life is a little like this photograph: I want to clear up the fuzziness and straighten it. However, those things aside, it’s still beautiful.