Posted by: Judy | June 7, 2016

Link to post by Fit Faithful Thankful

I follow Doug Peabody and his “Fit Faithful Thankful” blog on FB.

Yes, this:

http://www.fitfaithfulthankful.com/loving-a-woman-that-has-been-abused/

I love this.

I would add, if you have gained the trust of an abuse survivor, never take the side of the abuser. Ever. If the survivor notes something good, then give your support by affirming the survivor. Many abusers come across as charming and delightful. They will flatter and fawn. It is so easy to believe they’re wonderful people. The moment you empathize with them, the abuse survivor will be betrayed beyond your wildest imaginings. You will have validated the abusers’ treatment and convicted the abuse survivor of all the hateful ugly things the abuser has said or implied. You might as well smack the survivor yourself and be done with it. Trust will be violated. For me, the times this has happened, the broken trust was irreparable. I always wondered if I was believed at all and waited for the next time I would be “corrected” in my thinking, exactly like the abusers did.

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Responses

  1. Thanks for the link, that was a well written post. I spent some time on the other posts there too. It’s easy to care for someone, but really being there is extremely difficult at times for anyone, and so much more difficult when abuse is in our past

    • You’re welcome. I’ve never seen anyone create a list like this. He does have some good insights on a number of subjects.

  2. Thank you for the link Judy. I especially like your add on to it. Good stuff. If more people knew what an abuse survivor went through they would change how they viewed the whole subject.

    • You’re most welcome. I appreciated your post. I wish more people saw it.


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