As I’ve been struggling with my Basics, God has sent bits of inspiration.
Motivating Daily posted a much needed perspective:
I’d never considered the perspective offered. Do I like being fit or the actual process? I learned… no, I already knew, but I wasn’t willing to acknowledge something about me. I do not like the process of becoming fit.
I was teased and criticized for smelling bad. Sweat does that. If I didn’t exercise, I didn’t sweat.
I hated/loathed/detested the open girls’ locker room at school. I didn’t want other girls looking at me. My privacy was already ripped away on a daily basis. Why would I choose to give it away?
There were so many things I physically could not do. Why embarrass myself by allowing others to see how inept and weak I was? I have never done a handstand, in my life. It was a requirement for the tumbling portion of gym when I was in middle school. Even with a person on either side of me, I could not do it. I was in serious danger of a neck injury as my arms collapsed again and again. The teacher finally decided to skip it.
I had a propensity for twisting my ankle. No one cared, including me. I was awkward. I grew faster than my coordination could keep up with. I didn’t stop growing until I was in my mid 20s. Ankle is still a weak point.
I had trouble focusing on incoming balls. I almost ended up with a fast-moving volleyball in my face. The only thing that saved me was the net.
I can think of one exercise I loved. I did it every day, sweat, dirt, filth, I didn’t care. I owned a horse for five years. Cleaning his stall, cleaning him, every single day for five years. I’ve never regretted it. I would come home soaked in sweat and absolutely filthy. I loved it.
I walked my dog two miles a day, six days a week because she needed to be walked.
In both cases, me being healthier was simply a side benefit.
Otherwise, I hate workouts. However, I do enjoy the feeling of being fit. I like being able to easily bend over and tie my shoes. I like seeing more toned muscles when I look in the mirror.
I already have several habits in place. I need to do better.
However, the importance of the post was that I felt like I finally had permission to stop pretending like I enjoy my workouts. I don’t. I do them because I know they help me feel better overall. I have to be careful not to re-injure myself, a challenge.