Posted by: Judy | April 26, 2016

Personal “BUDs” starting at the beginning 4…

Spiritual Foundation

I’ve done a lot of building on this one. I survived because I did.

Again, I need to pinpoint my 3,000-7,000 times a day.

I know I need to read my Bible every day. I don’t always remember. It’s such a simple, obvious thing… my 3,000-7,000 times a day. I used to read every day.

I quit for a long time. I was discouraged by reading the Bible. My life was such a mess. I felt like I wasn’t understanding because my life was a mess, so what was the point of reading? Ah. The lie.

Abusers teach that if your life is a mess it is because you aren’t doing something right. If you would only pull it together and do it right, then life would be perfect. God can’t love you because He expects perfection, and you are so far from perfect you’re lost.

Lies.

God loves you so much Jesus died for your imperfections, so they wouldn’t matter at all. If your life is a mess it might be because you’re doing things right: you’re living, and living is messy.

Reading my Bible is actually a regular habit again, though not perfect.

Talking with God is also a daily habit.

So what am I missing?

I need to learn to praise Him in the storm. I usually simply go silent. I don’t know what to say and hope God reads my heart. He does, but I need to step up my game, so to speak.

Singing is something I’m working on. I am singing more often.

I added the writing exercise: God is more powerful than I believe.

I’ve mentioned my efforts to silence the negative tape that plays loudest as I go to sleep. I’ve used “I belong to God.” I do. “I am God’s.” I am. “Grace wins.” It does. I want to add “Praise God in the storm.” I want to learn to thank God for all that is good in my life when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Not easy. Neither is 3,000-7,000 times a day.

*Updates:

*Sleep is weird. The CD does help me go to sleep. I don’t stay asleep, but it’s easier to go back to sleep. My brain is less busy, not as many racing rats zipping through the mazes. I haven’t used the CD every night because I’m easily discouraged….

That explains a lot. This is why I need to practice the 3,000-7,000 times a day. Or in this case, stick with it every day.

*Eating is improving, so far. Knowing I’ve planned ahead and knowing my options are wider than before has resulted in reduced bingeing.

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Responses

  1. I don’t remember he last time I went to sleep and slept through the whole night. Heck, I don’t remember when I last slept without waking up at least 5 times. Recent sleep research suggests that sleeping through the night as an adult isn’t really to be expected — it’s partly these pharmaceutical sleep aids that drum into our heads that we’re supposed to sleep in a certain way. Once I realized that waking up is normal, I stopped stressing out whenever I woke up, and I was able to fall back asleep pretty quickly.

    • I found a study that stated it’s odd to sleep through the night. Our ancestors would go to sleep when the sun went down, wake for a few hours in the middle of the night, and then go back to sleep. I used to sleep through the night all the time. When I was struggling with chronic fatigue I often slept 15 hours straight. This CD experiment is proving interesting.

      • Yeah, I heard about that middle of the night thing. It was done in colonial times in New Hampshire according to a guide at Strawbery Banke museum. People would get up and do stuff. I don’t know that I’d wang to go that far… 😉

        • I’ve given it a try, usually not by choice. 😀 It messed up the next day.


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