My thoughts are scattered. Sometimes, it’s important to step back and breathe. I’m really, really lousy at doing this.
I spend so much time in my room, from things people have said, many believe I take a relaxed paced, enjoy time alone, vegetate… without realizing how frantic things are in my head.
A few people demand my attention, without understanding how much work it is for me to shift gears from being inside my head to speak to them. It’s sad that they don’t really want to understand. They don’t want to know me. They want what they want. They think I’m mean and unkind because I ignore them, not considering for a moment that things are so busy in my head I don’t have room for anything else. It’s frustrating and painful to have them take what they demand. In any other circumstances, they wouldn’t know anything at all. I’m not allowed to be my own person. I’m an extension of them and therefore available when they demand. They’ll complain that they are concerned about me and want to make sure I’m all right. I go back to the fact that if I were allowed to be my own person, they wouldn’t know anything at all.
But I’m now allowed to be my own person. I do the best I’m able.
For two weeks, I didn’t read a single story or book, so I could work on my own writing. For comparison: I used to read 1-2 books a day. I limited my television, so I could work on my own writing. I used online interaction to keep from being completely cutoff from the world.
I love Errant Knight. I’m so pleased with how it’s turning out.
I love Leap of Faith Day. It’s my longest novella, yet. It’s such an unexpected and delightful surprise.
Interesting side note: As I edit, I find I must switch sentences around, within a paragraph. I have all the ideas correct, but they’re in the wrong order. All of my editing is switching things around into their proper order.
The other day I started reading Diane Gaston’s latest Regency romance, Bound by One Scandalous Night. They aren’t clean, Christian romances like mine, but they aren’t as explicit as many. I love her books. I’ve been saving it, but I kept putting it off so I could work on my own writing.
I need to stop and breathe. It’s more difficult than it sounds. My brain never shuts off, even when I’ve only two brain cells to rub together.