Posted by: Judy | February 10, 2016

Thought provoking quote…

A friend on FB posted this:

If people can’t control their emotions, they’ll try to start controlling others’ behavior. – Robert Skinner

The first time I read it, and the second and third, I agreed. A little time has passed and a few more readings. I still think there’s truth in it.

This is one where I need to step back and focus on my own behavior. I don’t know about others, but I do know my own faults and weaknesses.

I’ve worked hard to learn to control my emotions, as opposed to them controlling me. It’s taken a lot of help from counseling and a whole lot of practice. I still lose control, on occasion. What do I want to do?

When I feel emotionally out of control, I want to control someone else.

Example: Car cuts me off, and I have to slam on the breaks. Fear instantly flips to anger. I want to teach them how to drive. 🙂

I’m wondering if it isn’t only about controlling behavior… Isn’t there also a desire to control their emotions? A bit of projecting, I think. I want them to know how stupid their behavior was. I want them to feel badly, and I wanted them to change. There’s the controlling actions, again.

The more I consider, I think it’s a combination of wanting to control behavior and emotions, the other person’s. But is it only the other person I want to control?

I think if a person is healthy, they want to control their own emotions. I don’t like losing control. I feel like I’ve lost an important battle. I have to work through the damage, rebuild my sense of self and sense of being a good person, and attempt to create a way to react better the next time it happens.

I’m not so foolhardy as to believe such things will never happen again. 🙄 I think that’s a healthy understanding, too.

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Responses

  1. I don’t think we need to control our emotions, just the associated behaviors. I’ve been working (for awhile now) at letting myself feel whatever I’m feeling, acknowledge it and usually it settles down on its own.

    And really, what’s so bad about wanting someone else to stop being a jerk? 😉

    • Good distinction. That makes much more sense.

      There is that. 😀


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