A friend on FB posted this:
If people can’t control their emotions, they’ll try to start controlling others’ behavior. – Robert Skinner
The first time I read it, and the second and third, I agreed. A little time has passed and a few more readings. I still think there’s truth in it.
This is one where I need to step back and focus on my own behavior. I don’t know about others, but I do know my own faults and weaknesses.
I’ve worked hard to learn to control my emotions, as opposed to them controlling me. It’s taken a lot of help from counseling and a whole lot of practice. I still lose control, on occasion. What do I want to do?
When I feel emotionally out of control, I want to control someone else.
Example: Car cuts me off, and I have to slam on the breaks. Fear instantly flips to anger. I want to teach them how to drive. 🙂
I’m wondering if it isn’t only about controlling behavior… Isn’t there also a desire to control their emotions? A bit of projecting, I think. I want them to know how stupid their behavior was. I want them to feel badly, and I wanted them to change. There’s the controlling actions, again.
The more I consider, I think it’s a combination of wanting to control behavior and emotions, the other person’s. But is it only the other person I want to control?
I think if a person is healthy, they want to control their own emotions. I don’t like losing control. I feel like I’ve lost an important battle. I have to work through the damage, rebuild my sense of self and sense of being a good person, and attempt to create a way to react better the next time it happens.
I’m not so foolhardy as to believe such things will never happen again. 🙄 I think that’s a healthy understanding, too.