Posted by: Judy | December 15, 2015

What is best?

I grew up being told, “Most of the work of the world is done by someone who didn’t feel good at the time.” Granted, this was usually said to me when I was given a job to do while I didn’t feel well. It was part of the insanity of contradictions I grew up in. NM required I fill-in while she was sick. It was never reciprocated. In fact, I was expected to do my chores regardless of how I was feeling. I learned to ignore how lousy I felt. I was going to have to do my choses anyway. Complaining only earned me more work.

As time has passed, I’ve discovered she was right. My work is done despite the fact that I struggle with my health every day. However, I’ve also discovered that many people are willing to offer leeway and step in to help.

There are plenty of things a person must do for him/herself. What I struggled to learn was that there are a lot of things that could have waited or didn’t require being done to perfection.

Scripture has been used as a whip. Jesus commanded: “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect.” Yeah, I didn’t even need to look it up. Fortunately, I’ve learned a lot of other scriptures as well. Now, I’m amused when people use “What would Jesus do?” as a way of guilting someone into doing what they think is best. A post for another time. I don’t blame Jesus for the insanity but those who believe manipulation is the only way to accomplish what they want, regardless if it’s right or wrong or even necessary. Their way is right, and they will use Jesus to prove it.

Hmmm… never really looked at it that way. Using Him to control others is not how He works. Blessedly, I developed a relationship with my Savior anyway. It’s about my relationship with Him, not about how other people behave.

It’s taking a lot of work to learn how to be patient with myself, which I still don’t do well. Interestingly enough, as I learn patience with myself, I also learn to recognize it and exercise it better in my interactions with others.




  1. Guilt and shaming are terrible motivators.

    • Yes, they are, and they have terrible consequences in the long run.

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