Posted by: Judy | June 4, 2015

Coaches…

I’ve been twiddling the idea of going back into counseling.

Here are some of the coaches I’ve invited into my life through their blogs:

Scott Williams

Froglogic’s David Rutherford

SEALFit’s Coach Mark Divine

Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project and now Words of Encouragement. One of his newest posts:

http://thewordsofencouragement.com/big-dreams/

He talked about sitting with your fear. I never really considered doing that. I’ve sat with my grief and embraced my anger, but I’ve attempted to keep fear at a safe distance. I gave it a try, on Tuesday.

I’m afraid of being taken advantage of and of being cheated. Yes, I see them differently. In one, I’m an unwitting participant. In the other, I’m unaware until it’s too late.

I attended the writers’/readers’ conference. I was afraid of making a fool of myself… of not being good enough. I don’t know what good enough would have looked like, so it was kind of silly now that I think about it.

Almost everything I needed to do myself. My sister – bless her – helped with travel and moral support. By the second day, I was lost in presentations and preparing for presentations. Something only I could do, one step after another, all the way through to Tuesday evening.

The calm and confidence dribbled away, and the fear sidled in.

My favorite bakery is hiring, this summer. It would be nice to have a regular paycheck, no matter how small. I hate handling other peoples’ money. I can’t stand for long periods of time. I can’t sit for long periods of time. Sometimes, I need to lay down in the middle of the day to ease the pressure I feel in my back. I have to put my feet up on a regular basis, as in once every hour or two.

My deadline has been extended, the publish date pushed back. This does not mean I have time to dawdle. I need to move forward. It’s time to settle back into writing. My insides quell.

What am I afraid of?

I doubt myself. I doubt my ability.

The conference was revealing. I haven’t allowed myself to settle into my writing niche, in part because I’m still learning what it is. One of the writing blogs I followed talked about the difference between novels and stories. I don’t write romance novels. I write romance stories. I’m a storyteller.

I finally created a tagline. I used to use: Being Christian doesn’t promise a life of sweetness and nice; Jesus promises hope.

I still like it, but it’s kind of a mouthful.

For my Endless Knights series: Every man needs to be a knight in shining armor  to the woman who holds his heart.

The Silver Locket Sisterhood series is about abuse survivors overcoming the darkness of their pasts. It’s based on Malachi 3:3, where the opening to the verse is about him (God) sitting as a refiner of silver. A silversmith must hold the silver in the hottest part of the fire to burn off the impurities. He must watch it every moment or it will be destroyed and useless. He knows it’s ready when he’s able to see his image in it. God holds us in the hottest part of the fire and watches us every moment. He knows we’re ready when He is able to see His image in us.

My overall message in all my stories: The weakest flame is still stronger than the dark.

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Responses

  1. I think counseling is always a good thing. I still miss my therapist and I’d go back to him if he didn’t live so far away.

    Maybe you can check the hours at your bakery? Perhaps they have a part time position that is only a few hours daily so that you can still take care of your body’s needs.

    • I also miss my last counselor. Most of my years with him consisted of me checking in with him to make sure I was on the right track.

      It couldn’t hurt to ask about the hours.

      • I really feel like my therapist saved my life. From the moment I stepped into his office, I felt safe in a way I’d never felt before. It was a revelation.

        • For me, it was such a relief to know I didn’t have to tap dance around certain subjects. He knew I was Ruth’s sister, so I knew he’d believe me from the start. I would still be stuck without him. God bless good counselors.

  2. I’m getting to the point where I am ready to go without a counselor. Sitting with any emotion is an interesting experience. I feel like the emotion has value, I have to see why and how it is actually there to help me. Sometimes the emotion was helpful at one time but no longer needed. Sit with it acknowledges what I am feeling as legitimate feeling. Then I decide what I am going to do about it. Kind of a interesting process.


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