Posted by: Judy | March 30, 2015

Interesting Post…

Lady With a Truck shared a post by Grace for My Heart:

https://graceformyheart.wordpress.com/2015/03/20/the-unintended-compliment/

What an intriguing idea. Creepy, too, but still intriguing.

Then again, it’s the kind of compliment no one wants.

The value of a compliment is decided by the person receiving it. NM frequently compliments me, but I always consider the source. Frequently, sadly, I find myself asking, “What is wanted?” Usually something. Or “Is there an insult hidden there?” Sometimes it’s obvious, but sometimes it isn’t.

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Responses

  1. There is a quote about gifts that is similar to the value of a compliment you state: “”The paradox of gifts: I know what I have given you. I do not know what you have received.” ~Dr. SunWolf

    I agree, the source is key – do I trust the source? Trust is often about believing someone’s intentions to be kind. xx

    • Exactly! ((TR))

  2. My mom puts most people down. So I guess even if she’s not seeing them as better, she is afraid of being measures as less than. I’m not sure it’s really an unintended compliment (in the way the article states) most of the time with her.

    People she’s threatened by get a lot more subversive treatment. She tends to compliment when she wants something or if she can somehow take credit for whatever she’s complimenting. Even though I was always looking for breadcrumbs of affection from my mother, I never trusted anything that resembled a compliment. Mostly, though, she used a bored affectation with me rather than insults. Or she’d say crap behind my back and let my dad deliver the assessments of my failings.

    Regardless, no wonder I’d get so exhausted to be around her.

    • Mind boggling how twisted their thinking is, isn’t it?


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