Posted by: Judy | March 24, 2015

Crazy Idea…

Dropping it here because I know I’ll be given honest feedback. It also comes back to my habit of doing a brain dump, so it’s out of my head. If it’s really what I want, I’ll come back to it. If it isn’t, I’ll be able to forget about it as it won’t be nattering in the back of my head anymore.

I’ve been reading Your Life Still Counts by Tracie Mills. She asked what three things am I interested in doing, or something along that line.

1. Help other survivors.

2. Writer.

3. Be physically healthy.

How will I go about them? I’m working on the first two and feeling like I’m on the right track. The third… not so much.

I’ve thought about pursuing physiology, like physical therapist or personal trainer. Really. No joke. I know I’m 100 lb overweight. Who better to help someone else struggling to lose weight and become healthy?

If I can help myself become healthy, then I could help someone else.

This, of course, requires that I become healthy myself. I know, this is the fly in the ointment. Actually, this is the point…

I need to become my own personal trainer. Maybe it isn’t about doing this for others as much as it is about doing this for me.

If I were a personal trainer and had a client like me, what would I tell them? What would I have them do? How would I help them?

Maybe this one is more about me. I’m certainly more comfortable with the idea.

Yes, I have on various occasions considered the idea of becoming a life coach. My friends… my friends in the past… often expected me to be a cheerleader, all the time. I was not allowed to have my own problems. Doesn’t really matter now, I suppose. As I type it, I remember when that used to hurt. It doesn’t much anymore. More sad than hurt.

It’s something I know how to do. Because I know how to do it doesn’t mean I should. Then again, maybe somewhere down the road, God has something in mind I never considered.

In the meantime, I need to be a much better personal trainer to me.



  1. This one is hard for me to comment about, for a few reasons. One, I’m just not so talkative lately. And two, as someone who is more than a hundred pounds overweight myself, I doubt that any feedback from me is likely to share anything you don’t already know yourself.

    I suppose the idea of being your own personal trainer is one way to approach learning how to employ a healthier lifestyle, and in the process, it might help with accountability and routine and practice, and might even evolve into you helping others that similarly struggle. Anything that moves you in the right direction is worth exploring.

    My experience has been that “going public” with your daily health and exercise plan can have a positive impact, in that you share and receive encouragement with others going down a similar path. I’ve tried a couple different varieties (Weight Watchers in person, as well as a group blog with a group of people who were all over 100 pounds overweight and trying to makes changes to improve their overall health). Both had positive results, but for me, both involved a lot of time, and when I left the groups, the weight returned. But while I was involved, the weight dropped, and muscle mass improved, and I did feel healthier during that time.

    However, my experience has also been that the only time I experienced a truly significant weight change for myself was when I dedicated a large portion of my time towards exercising and changing the way that I ate, including smaller portion control and eliminating sodas and red meat from my diet. During an eight month period (in my thirties), with constant dedication to exercising at least five times a week, and with vigilant portion control, I ended up losing more than 80 pounds. As long as I kept up the exercising and portion control, the weight stayed off. For me, this time frame has always represented a sort of template for how to do it properly, so I’m crystal clear on how much time and energy is required in order to see significant results. In other words, it has to be the priority in my life, over and above virtually everything else, in order to truly be successful. I can’t deny that it feels incredibly powerful and strong to be able to see your body change shape as your endurance improves, and the healthier you become, the more dedicated you get to maintaining and improving your health.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that the one big mistake I made, many times, was under-estimating the amount of time and energy that is required in order to be successful at any sustained and significant weight loss. Even small steps forward and short bursts of activity can help you get the ball rolling, but mentally you have to be prepared for it to become a permanent part of your daily routine, especially when our bodies are prone to holding on to weight. And also, try to prepare yourself for the plateaus that will eventually happen, and find ways to remain motivated when you’re doing everything right, but you’re not seeing any evidence of your hard work on the scale. This is often when people lose focus and dedication, and start sliding backwards, and before you know it, the weight creeps back on.

    Obviously I haven’t discovered or implemented a plan that works for myself, so I can only share what HAS worked, and what hasn’t worked. Now that I’m dealing with limited mobility issues as well, it complicates the equation, but obviously, even people with mobility issues are capable of losing weight. It really does come down to what we already know: EAT LESS, MOVE MORE.

    When I make up my mind to implement an exercise plan, or an eating plan, sometimes I can’t think in terms of “forever”, and end up having to move forward based on “one day at a time”. Today, I can make better choices. Enough todays stacked one on top of another do eventually become forever, but maybe for today, all I can handle is today.

    Another thing I found helpful was the whole “when you fall off the wagon, don’t give up” way of thinking. We all slip up from time to time, and being prepared to simply begin again, without beating yourself up so badly that you give up hope, requires a truly forgiving mindset. Some people build in small edible rewards into their routine, and some people believe that the only way to succeed is to quit using food as a reward for good behavior. I suppose we all have to find what works best for us, and if that includes you becoming your own personal trainer, then I say embrace the idea and go with it. Even small steps in the right direction can make a difference.

    Good luck to you. This post reminded me that once we get past the “surviving” part of survival, we should all be looking to move into the “thriving” phase of living. Sometimes we get stuck in survival mode, but if we aren’t living the best life we are capable of living, then we aren’t reaping all the benefits available to us for having survived. I really do wish you the best of luck as you keep moving down this path. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find a way to combine all three goals in some way that you can’t yet imagine. Life is filled with possibility, and as long as we are still alive, we all have a shot at surprising ourselves. 🙂

    • Thank you! This is exactly what I needed! A kind reality check. 😀 You’re right. I’m already exercising six days a week, but I’ve had to curb it since I fell. I’m working on smaller portions and learning to not punish myself with food. I’ve never done WW or anything like it because I don’t like the public venue.

      I was in an abuse survivors group for a while. I enjoyed helping the others, but after a few years I felt like abuse survivor was my identity. It was who I was instead of something that happened to me.

      Not to mention my relationship with food. I don’t fit in the expected mold. I’ve spent decades exploring what works, for me.

      Becoming my own personal trainer is a great idea. I’m actually already doing it. I’ve been a bad coach, beating myself up. I need to learn to coach myself in healthy ways. Instead of treating my body like the enemy, I need to treat it like a precious treasure, a gift, which it is.

      Bless you ((ntexas99)) An answer to prayer.

  2. Time to fire your mean boss. 😉

    • I think I finally “get it.” 🙂

  3. This is a tough one. I’m super motivated in terms of getting my running done, but when it comes to the other necessary workouts to keep me injury-free… I’m not so great. Which is why I work weekly with a personal trainer. It’s hard to be accountable when it’s something that I don’t find as much fun to do. I like having someone cheer me on and think proactively about my fitness and health.

    I know your budget is tight, but is here any reasonably priced trainers or programs near you that you can do with either just the trainer or with a group? Perhaps you and your sister could do something together? Even if it’s only a formal meeting once a month and you have to do the rest on your own, it might make it easier to stay on track. It just seems like a lot of pressure to put on yourself especially in the early stages.

    • I never thought of meeting with someone once a month. Sort of like a touchstone. I like that idea. I’ll look into it. Thanks ((Judith))

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