Posted by: Judy | March 19, 2015

Meme debunking…

“In life, it’s not where you go that matters; it’s who goes with you.” -unk

I first read this and thought, “Yeah! Cool!” Then I thought about it a little longer.

Who you are with sometimes determines where you’re going. On the other side, where you’re going determines who you are with.

I’ve had friends who were fun, and we had a good time. However, they weren’t headed in the same direction as I was. Because I was going in a different direction, it didn’t mean they were wrong. We were making different choices that lead us down different paths. They wouldn’t have been happy continuing their journey on my path, and I wasn’t happy continuing my journey on theirs.

A great deal of my life has been spent traveling alone. People moved in and out of my life. I sometimes feel like my life has a revolving door, and no one was intended to stay long term. Even my sister and I drifted apart — okay, we were driven apart, with help — anyway, we weren’t traveling together for many years. It wasn’t until about ten years ago now that we wandered back onto the same path at the same time. I don’t think I can get rid of her this time. 🙂 Thank you, God, for that blessing.

In life, it matters both where you’re going and who is with you.

I suppose it ties into the quote “Life is a journey not a destination.” However, if you don’t have a destination in mind, then you will be subject to the whims and ambiguity of those you travel with and the capriciousness of the pathways presented.

We’re back to the problem with memes: They want to create an easy button, an easy answer, an easy solution to difficult problems.

If you don’t know your destination, how will you know when you arrive?

If you don’t know your destination, how will you recognize when someone is leading you astray?

If you don’t know your destination, how will you know what step to take next when the path is hazy or even completely dark?

When everything appears foggy it is knowing your destination that gives you a true north to guide you.

I spend a lot of time stumbling around because my destination is to return Home to God but I’m often confused about how to travel from here to there. The confusion isn’t because the path is unclear but because some of my traveling companions have muddied the way. Sometimes, I muddy it. I have some new companions who are interested in helping me, but I’m the one who must do the work. It has required leaving a lot of companions behind. However, by leaving those companions behind, I have been blessed by new companions who are traveling in the same direction, at least for a time.

Now that my destination is clearer in my mind, I’m able to help others along the way without worrying I will lose my way. Letting go of friendships that no longer work still isn’t easy, but I’m no longer clinging for fear I’ll become lost. I know others are waiting for me to join them, though we haven’t yet met. I’m awed by those who have shared the journey with me this long and appear to be continuing on with me. Awed and grateful.

In life, both the destination and the companions matter.



  1. I’ve actually found “life is a journey not a destination” comforting to me and a reminder to stay in the moment and not stress about the unknown. I guess it makes me feel like I’m less having to make everything in my life about getting somewhere and more about being a human BEING. I don’t know if that makes sense, I do understand what you’re saying though 🙂

    • Yes, that makes sense, and I agree. I know, it sounds like I’m contradicting myself… this needs it’s own post. Next Monday.

      • I think what happens with a lot of these memes is that they can have multiple interpretations. I always understood the “Life is a journey… ” meme as not being so focused on the destination that you forget to be present in the journey, but what you wrote about the importance of having a destination is equally true. A lot of food for thought. Great post.

        • I saw the same, until I started exploring. The post I’m writing for Monday is exploring much deeper than I anticipated.

  2. Yup….you are stuck with me. 🙂

    • For which I’m truly grateful. 🙂

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