Posted by: Judy | February 19, 2015

Sharing a TED Talk…

The video below was posted before yesterday’s blog. I added it to the schedule the day before that. I didn’t know what was coming in the comment section. In the comment discussion, I came to realize that the chains binding me are the lies I continue to tell myself. What I dislike about NM are all the lies; what I dislike most in myself are the lies I continue to tell myself. “You’re stupid. You’re ugly. You’re worthless.” Yes, the negative tape. I never saw that before. Now it seems to clear, so obvious.

Here’s the link to the video lifebegins45 shared:

http://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene

It’s under 18 minutes.

Guy Winch saw a difference in only a week of banishing his negative self talk. However, it sounds like he came from a pretty healthy place in his head to begin with, so I figure it will take a lot longer for someone as practiced as I am. 🙄

Changing my thinking has always been a goal, but I’ve often been lazy about it. I need to figure out how I can make it a more conscious effort. The negative tape still turns on far too often. It isn’t as harsh as it used to be, but funnily enough, it doesn’t take as much to throw me into the dumps… the healthier I become, the more susceptible I am to what’s unhealthy… or maybe the warning bells trigger faster.

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Responses

  1. Winch’s banishing the negative self talk cognitively is a similar suggestion in a book I just finished reading on cPTSD (Pete Walker, ty to Kara). I face a very similar challenge in what you state in the last paragraph. And adding to Winch’s message Walker also says that it is a cognitive exercise to stop the inner critic. That we have to catch it and then stop the talk from continuing (or the taping playing). His suggestion was to yell “NO” at it.

    • I never thought of yelling “NO.” When I was much younger I read a book about what you say when you talk to yourself. I quickly became frustrated when it didn’t work. I thought the problem was the book. Now, I know it was me. I didn’t understand the magnitude of the problem at the time. I’m going to try this.

      • I was surprised at the ‘amount’ of cognitive work that needs to be done as well. I’m trying it to, I have a few post-it notes at my desk for a reminder.

  2. I started working actively on the negative tape when running, and I’ve definitely improved, but still have work to do. I think the reason many of my races end up in stomach issues is due to the negative thoughts telling me I may as well give up, I suck, I’m never going to be able to do what I set out to do. So, I guess under pressure conditions, my positive thinking doesn’t fare as well. But I’m determined to keep working on it and proving the negative voice wrong.

    I think you’re right that those of us with less healthy upbringings will take longer to rewrite the tape. Hang in there.

    • Perhaps the voice is louder because you’ve set a goal you care about. On the “easy” days, you’re less concerned about meeting target goals. We will win this.

      • I think you’re right — on my goal days, I get a lot of cognitive dissonance (tall poppy syndrome being among them) to fight. And it makes me literally sick! So I totally empathize with you on this one. At least I don’t have the not-so-subtly disapproving face of my mother to contend with (except she’s still there in my mind, apparently).

        And YES we WILL beat this. It’s work on ourselves worth perusing for sure. You really have come a long way, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

  3. I found the TED talk interesting, especially where he talks about the three toddlers playing with the same toy, and how each of them react to failure. Also that section where he talks about the woman at the bar who calls a friend, only to hear some rather distorted and untrue statements, which only serve to make her feel even worse than she was already feeling. After all, as he said, if we cut our arm, we wouldn’t grab a knife and make the cut deeper. And yet we do that all the time with the negative self-talk. Very interesting video, and thanks for sharing.

    • Those things caught my attention, too. You’re welcome.

  4. Thanks for the link! Interesting talk…I read his book “Emotional First Aid” and it was really good, in case people were wondering.

    • Thanks, CZBZ, I’ll add it to my wish list.


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