Scott Williams, one of the blogs I follow, shared a link to “Lady with a Truck,” which I’m now following.
http://ladywithatruck.com/2015/01/13/personal-growth-and-resilience-according-to-scott/
Her perspective inspired me. I never thought of letting go of the old self and choosing the best self, at least not this clearly:
I hope those of you trying to be your old self will embrace the opportunity to be the best you, something the narcissist can never do.
My sister also offered a bit of clarifying over on her PTSD blog:
http://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2015/01/13/hope/
I don’t know why but I’d never connected trust and hope. They were always separate in my head. Seeing trust listed as a definition under hope, I’m rearranging my perspective. I need to work on both.
The Project: Me by Judy 
Thank you for the link! I am glad something resonated with you 🙂
By: Carrie Reimer on January 15, 2015
at 12:40 am
Thanks again for the helpful post.
By: Judy on January 15, 2015
at 2:59 am
One of the reasons I needed to go NC with my parents was because not only did they always try to cast me in the “old me” role,but I would find ,yield slipping right into it like an itchy sweater. And after I left visiting my parents, I would feel the residue from that sweater for several weeks (driving my poor husband a little crazy because I was not myself).
I like how the writer said ip healing became less about her abuser and more about herself. I think that’s how it works. I may not have “forgiven” in the way that many suggest, but I have “let go”. That definitely has allowed me to move towards being my best self, although I don’t think I’m there yet.
By: Judith / soveryslightlymad on January 15, 2015
at 9:16 am
Yes! Slipping back into the old role! Definitely an itchy sweater. 🙂 I think that’s what’s changed: I’m no longer slipping into the appointed role. It makes them uncomfortable. I actually think forgiveness is much more about letting go than anything else. Good for you. I’m learning.
By: Judy on January 15, 2015
at 9:25 am
Yah, I think itchy sweater works — it’s like the bad gift they gave you that you’re forced to pretend to like 😛
By: Judith / soveryslightlymad on January 15, 2015
at 9:47 am
Brilliant! Turtlenecks. I hate turtlenecks, but for years, I was given turtlenecks because NM liked them, despite the fact I told them year after year I don’t…
Hmmm… I finally simply stopped arguing and took them back to the store for credit. They stopped giving me turtlenecks…
I did this years ago! What took me so long to figure out I couldn’t play their game but to stay true to myself?
By: Judy on January 15, 2015
at 10:57 am
They had you trained to serve their needs. I sometimes shake my head at how brainwashed I was.
By: Judith / soveryslightlymad on January 15, 2015
at 11:01 am
And now all I can think of is an itchy turtleneck around my neck 😉
By: Judith / soveryslightlymad on January 15, 2015
at 11:07 am
Choosing the Red Pill. 🙂
Eewwww… my neck itches… 😀
By: Judy on January 15, 2015
at 11:14 am