Posted by: Judy | January 7, 2015

Post over at Anyone have a flashlight?

The title definitely caught my attention and started me thinking.

My comment: Another thought on the “hoarding.” There were things I kept as proof. Until a few years ago, I had a furry stuffed… thing… It looked like a white, fuzzy raindrop, with bulging bloodshot eyes, and red mitten hands and boots. I finally released the creature to a new home after my sister helped me establish the truth of an event. My parents repeatedly denied a memory I had of going to the hospital when I was a small child. A few years ago, my sister was present when I brought up the subject, again. She confirmed it happened. Not long after, my younger brother also confirmed it happened. My parents finally relented and admitted the truth. The stuffed creature had been a gift they’d given me while I was in the hospital for the overnight stay. Once my memory was validated, I could release my life-long friend and evidence.

As I read the post, it also occurred to me that I don’t need to shed my skin. I did so long ago. However, I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Mud and dirt cake on, and I have to wash off on a regular basis.

I’m not as muddy as I used to be. I still make mistakes, but I’m not making the same ones.

Granted, I’d like to shed weight, but it isn’t the same thing.

Overall… I want to say I’m content with who I am. There are still lots of things I want to change. However, there are things I don’t want to change.

I’m a writer. I want to improve my habits. I want to tell ever better stories.

I like my relationship with God. I also want to improve it. Learn to trust Him more, follow better.

I have wonderful friends. I want to improve those relationships and add more as I’m able.

Nope. I don’t want to shed my skin. I’ve done that, once, long ago… or maybe not so long. No matter. It’s in the past. I’m working on the present with the hopes of making my future better.

Speaking of future, this showed up in my email, a few hours ago:


It’s coming out January 11, 2015.

The Distressed Damsel

In 1817 England, Abigail Stewart is not the appointed estate manager. Her father, who was, is dead. The position should have been hers if not for the fact she’s a woman. She’s willing to go to any lengths to protect all she loves, including incur the wrath of the owner.

The Tarnished Knight

Jack Roper knows espionage and intrigue. Protecting King and country is his life, until a woman he’s never met sets about demolishing everything he’s worked to build for the purpose of attaining her own ends, regardless of what happens to him.

The Roper Estate

Without the baron present, Castle Sugan, the surrounding land, and the people living on it struggle to survive. All is not lost. God turns evil for good and changes hearts, but will Abigail and Jack choose to be a part of it…




  1. Sometimes I feel like an onion with so many layers to shed.

    The book looks awesome! Only a few more days until it comes out 🙂

    • And peeling onions means lots and lots of crying, and it’s not only expected, it’s normal. I like that.

      Thank you, anyonehaveaflashlight. 🙂

  2. It’s so weird that your parents kept denying you were in the hospital. To what ends? I’ll never understand what motivates a narcissist’s behavior.

    • I even asked, Judith, and they had no explanation. It was like the event ceased to exist until I confronted them… no, until my sister and my younger brother validated my memory. Then it was back in existence like it had always been there. Weird. These are the things that whisper to me I’m not dealing with totally sane people.

      • It’s that gaslighting thing 😦

        • Sadly, yes, but they also gaslight themselves. How weird is that?

  3. I love this cover! And the book sounds fabulous. I also agree with your ‘wants.’ Excellent post.

    • Thanks, Beth!

  4. Congrats on the next book, it looks great! I understand about holding onto ‘evidence’ like that. Such a relief to finally egt some validation, but still left with the ‘why?’ why choose to lie all those years. Have to shrug it off, there is no reason that will make sense, because it does not make sense. Glad you can see your own progress and choose to keep the good, because there is so much good in you!

    • I still don’t understand the lie. What did they hope to gain? Could it be as simple as making one more bad event disappear? Yes, only thing to do now is shrug it off. Thanks, rootstoblossom. 🙂

  5. Congratulations! I love the cover.

    • Thank you!

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