Posted by: Judy | April 2, 2014


I’d just spent several days taking care of my sister’s husband’s dog and blessedly enjoying their home while they were visiting family. I didn’t accomplish much. I caught up on some movies I enjoy and some movies I wanted to see. I don’t usually see many movies. Sitting for two hours straight is not a strong point. I know some people won’t believe that. It’s okay.

Channel surfing, I saw the end of The Matrix. Never was a huge fan. Interesting. Not enough for me to sit down and devote enough time to watch all of it. I watched the end…

Spoiler alert…

What I surmised from what little I saw: Mr. Smith asks Mr. Anderson, “Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you’re fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom or truth? Could it be for peace? Or even love? Illusions Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of the feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose! And all of them are as artificial as the Matrix itself… although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can’t win. It’s pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why do you persist?”

“Because I choose to.”

Scott Williams posted this video on the 20th.

It’s over 9 minutes long, so I didn’t watch it until the 23rd, after I’d seen the end of The Matrix. I wanted to be sure I had 9 uninterrupted minutes. There’s also the problem of me being distracted and remembering the link is there, even though I’m looking at it in my mailbox. My brain does this sometimes. It’s only a big deal when others are depending on me. It’s part of the reason my online friendships work well, mostly. I’m able to respond as my brain kicks in.

Things I’ve known and have talked about here re-shuffled themselves. I think they fit a little better.

I’ve always thought of my life puzzle as large pieces. Not like a child’s puzzle, but more like 1,000-piece puzzles. It isn’t. It’s billions of pieces. Many pieces fit fine right where they are. It doesn’t matter if the fit is perfect. Other pieces, a tiny twist here and an extra sliver there, and it adds depth and dimension.

I don’t think I fully appreciated before that I’m not building a flat table puzzle. I’m building a four dimensional puzzle. Yes, it includes the element of time.

Another concept I learned from The Matrix, not because I’ve watched it but because so many have shared the same idea is the blue pill, which keeps everything as it is, like living on the top of a still lake, and the red pill. The red pill is diving into the lake, looking at everything above and below, accepting the true nature of the lake of one’s life. Once you decide to embrace the truth, there’s no going back.

My struggle is the old habits that pull me back into the past. People who want to pull me back into the past so they can be comfortable, no matter what it may cost me.


  1. First, it must have been nice to have a break from your usual environment. Sometimes even a brief respite is enough of a break to allow us to recharge our batteries. Otherwise, we risk being so run-down that we can’t function properly, or we lose our ability to have a wider perspective.

    Your point about choosing can apply to so many things. Even my own current quest to redefine my spiritual beliefs. What do I choose to believe?

    Also, I like the analogy of the puzzle, especially the 3-D part of the equation. How there are so many different layers and dimensions in our choices, and in our lives. The puzzle analogy also calls to mind the process of building something; of creating something new from all the many pieces.

    It sounds like you are struggling right now, and I’m sorry that you are going through a difficult time. There are times that a little channel flipping and ruminating are good enough medicine for whatever ails us. It may not solve the essence of the struggle, but it does, at least, allow us some breathing room. Hang in there, and remember that you are stronger than you believe.

    • Thanks for the reminder ((ntexas99))

  2. I love the Matrix. I’ve often thought of my journey away from my parents as taking the red pill of reality. My mother tried to force feed me the blue pill for a long time, and it was all a lie.

    • Yep. It isn’t easy taking the red pill. And he’s right that once you take it, you can’t go back.

      • It’s a good thing to live outside the lies.

        • I hadn’t thought of it quite that way… quantum leaped to taking the break at my sister’s, giving me a chance to breath clear air, so to speak.

          • I’m really glad you did it. It sounds like a much needed time for you.

  3. I rarely watch videos recommended to me because of the time involved, but I watched this one. It’s brilliant.

    • So glad you enjoyed it.

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