Posted by: Judy | June 24, 2013

Interesting plan…

…for attacking the negative tape.

Last week, my sister posted about dissecting the negative tape.

http://weareone-ruth.blogspot.com/2013/06/dissecting-negative-tapes.html

I’m doing much better with mine, so I’m not as terrorized by it. I’ve decided to tackle it.

The original tape:

Crabby Appleton Rotten to the Core, there’s nothing good about you. You’re rotten. You’re evil, all the way down to the core, bone deep, through and through. There’s nothing good in you, anywhere. If there’s nothing good, then you’re evil, wicked. In fact, like a rotten apple you spread rot to everything you touch, everyone you touch. You deserve whatever happens to you. It’s your fault. Pretty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone. You’re ugly. You’re stupid. After all, if you were smart, you’d figure out how to be out on your own, how to be independent. But you’re not. You should do better, but you don’t. You should try harder, but you don’t. You should. You could. You ought to. But you don’t. Why don’t you? Why haven’t you? Why are you still here? Because you’re worthless. You’re no good to anyone. You are a danger to those who care about you because you are rotten to the core, rotten through and through. You take and take but never give. You don’t have to worry about being hurt by those you love, because you are incapable of love. You have to worry about hurting those you love. Not that you know what love is. You’re wicked. You’ll never be good enough, smart enough, clever enough, pretty enough. You are not loveable. You are not worthy. You are despicable. You couldn’t even have the good sense to be born a boy. No one could love someone with a face as scarred as yours is. No one could love someone as fat as you are. You’re too stupid to live. You’re lazy. You’re disobedient. You don’t deserve to live, but you’re too stupid to die. Life would be so much easier without you in it, taking up space, asking for too much, needing too much. You’re a leech, a parasite. You are a miserable excuse for a human being. You’re life is a mistake. And there’s no one to blame but you.


Responses

  1. This is a brilliant idea. That will be a lot of index cards, BUT, I know you, and you can easily refute them. I think I will work on this, too. Must run, have appts today.

    • Actually, as I wrote this post, I realized it’s really easy because the answer is the same for each: They’re all lies. Every single statement is a lie.

  2. wow … your negative tape is pretty brutal … this made me wonder if I should consider trying to articulate my own negative tape, and then gauge each one against what is true, and what is not true.

    interesting, and thanks for sharing

    • I never planned to write out my negative tape until I wrote “The Project.” I shortened the tape. The “original” tape was much longer and uglier. I’m glad I wrote it out. It surprised me that it started losing power the moment I exposed it to the full light of day, so to speak.

  3. Yes they are all lies because she feels threatened by you she attacked from an age so young you didn’t know they were lies. Hugs, your books reveal your beauty for anyone that has eyes that can see. Love you.

    • Love you, too, Ruth! Thanks for helping me see the true picture!

  4. Yah, you really need to get rid of that tape. Too bad someone in your life hit “record” when they gave you those terrible messages and left you stuck with it replaying in your head. 😦

    You can do it! You’ve come so far.

    • I am doing it, with lots of practice. Reading about your efforts is inspiring. I’m thinking about doing a virtual 5K, i.e., I can’t be there, but I can sign up and do it myself. I can’t run, but I can see how fast I can walk it. 🙂

  5. Writing it out seems to free it in a way. I like how you tackled it; thinking of doing so in my journal.

    The tape played like a broken record in our childhood – ALL lies, all of it. Hugs, TR

    • ((TR))


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