Posted by: Judy | May 6, 2013

Little by little…

Over at Poppypost, depression is being confronted and overcome.

http://poppyposts-blog.net/2013/04/27/the-aggregation-of-marginal-gains/

Growing up in a narcissistic environment, it was all or nothing.

It’s a constant struggle, a daily battle, and it’s easy to end the day defeated.

However, the idea of improving by 10%… Yes, I can do that. I HAVE done that.


Responses

  1. I can relate to that thing you’re talking about… it was always all or nothing in my house. We had to make straight A’s or we were in trouble. A’s and B’s weren’t acceptable. As I talk to other adults, I have only met a few who (like me) said their parents were actually upset with them if they didn’t make straight A’s— looking back, the pressure… that was just one aspect of our lives, but it was huge. As kids, school was our main “job”.. it’s how we were evaluated by not just teachers, but all adults. I am so glad we did not do this to our kid. We just told him to do his best. We would be mildly concerned with a C here and there, mainly since we knew he was pretty smart, but A’s and B’s (even all B’s is GOOD!!) were fine, he was learning new things on a daily basis and progressing well.
    We also always cleaned the ENTIRE HOUSE in one day, and I repeated that for the next 40 years… it is still VERY hard for me to ONLY clean the kitchen floor, or just vacuum, or just do the toilets. I want to do the whole house, or nothing. Geez, now I know where THAT came from!!

    And the tackling 10% idea sounds fantastic! Yes, I can do that!
    🙂 Thanks for post!

    • You’re most welcome, Mary! 🙂 You helped me learn I was enough.

  2. The positive aspect from those of us who grew up in this sort of environment is that we don’t pass it on to our children as we know how damaging it is but I fear that I will never be able to apply the same logic to my own achievements as the perfectionist expectation is too deeply ingrained.

    • I’ll never be able to overcome it completely either, but I’m settling with it. It is necessary, in some regards. In my transcribing work, it has to be perfect. In my writing, I make it as perfect as possible. I am learning to be not quite so hard on myself when I stumble or do something else I used to beat myself up about.


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