Posted by: Judy | April 16, 2013


Mark’s Grace is in. Next: Release day May 21.

Time to take a moment and celebrate. YAY!

Now, time to collect and order thoughts.

I used a lot of my new skills.

I allowed myself to be myself. I chose to braid my hair instead of wearing it down. Maybe not a big deal to most, but it is to me. I used it as a physical trigger, reminding me the day was different. I maintained a safe distance as much as possible. When the drama started I took myself outside and took a long a couple of members of the family to chat. It was very pleasant.

Between activities, I called my BFF. Thank you! She’s very calming. I caught up on FB silliness. Reset my brain for the next round. It worked.

My eating changed completely this past weekend. Usually, if there’s a lot of food, I will take a little bit of everything. And a little bit more… One of my nieces made an eclair cake… It was mostly gone by the time I discovered it. She let me keep the rest. I enjoyed it for two more days. Meant to make it last longer, but there you are. If they hadn’t offered, I would have simply stuffed myself on it then and there. Thank you!

There were chocolate-covered strawberries. I let myself eat as many as I wanted. I enjoyed one pretzel roll. I drank water. I didn’t touch any of the other cakes, snacks, cookies, or anything else.

Reminder: I eat to stuff things down. Stuff emotions. Stuff what I know I shouldn’t say. Stuff everything down with food. That much food and I’m numb. The other side effect I’m looking for.

I don’t need to stuff as much.

Next day, family all showed up again. More food out. I’d already eaten dinner. I didn’t touch a single snack. I didn’t feel guilt. I didn’t feel deprived. I was done for the day. I didn’t need to stuff. I still have to curb my tongue, but that’s okay.

It probably helped to have the manuscript come in because it gave me something time-intensive to occupy my worry. 🙂

Now, waiting for the aftermath.

It isn’t as bad because of my rule of not being around NM alone.

I’m learning to be healthy. Go me!


  1. Woo hoo!! Brava, dear. Keep up the great work. And, hoping the manuscript is looking good. ttyl today.

    • Thanks ((Mary))

  2. Awesome….high five. Happy to skip the drama. It was fun chatting.

    • Yep! ((Ruth))

  3. You did great!!!! Yay!!! Go you!! 🙂

    • Thank you ((Kara))

      • You’re welcome ((Judy))

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