Posted by: Judy | February 28, 2013


I’m sharing the link to Joel Runyon’s post but no I don’t expect you to go there. However, it did start my thinking.

I had moderation shoveled down my throat.

Don’t be too happy.

Don’t be too sad.

Don’t be angry, ever.

Don’t be excited, except as dictated within tiny parameters.

Moderation is about controlling EVERYTHING.

An interesting thing I learned when I owned my horse:

For all the value everyone put on moderation, when anyone talked to me they wanted to hear about my horse. It didn’t matter if they knew me or not. They would ask me about my horse. It didn’t matter if they had a horse or not. They would ask me about my horse. It didn’t even matter if they liked horses or not. They would ask me about my horse.

Asking me about my horse was like setting off fireworks.

I loved talking about my horse. I was animated, excited, enthralled and more than happy to share my enthusiasm. I shared anecdotes about my horse and about the other horses at the stable. I would bubble about the equestrian class I took at the local college. I gushed.

Total strangers would ask me about my horse.

After my horse passed away, the massive circle of friends I acquired stopped talking to me.

I still owned a dog I loved beyond measure. But a dog was so… ordinary.

Everyone was living their dream of something extraordinary through me. When my extraordinariness disappeared they wandered off looking for the next extraordinary thing.

I mourned the loss of my horse for years. I still miss him. I still mourn the loss of my dog.

I am extraordinary.

I write romance novels.

Interestingly enough, my extraordinariness is no longer captivating but awkward.

I find it hilarious.

I am passionate. I love exploring and excitement and laughter. It makes a lot of people uncomfortable.

What a pity, for them.

1. I am tenacious.

2. I am friendly.

3. I like to help others feel comfortable.

4. I am creative.

5. I love to create.

6. I love to learn.

7. I value the truth.

8. I am a writer.

9. I am passionate.

10. I am extraordinary.

11. I am curious.


  1. I loved his blog post. It so went against everything we were taught. Vibrant alive engaged with living is awesome and that awesomeness threatens some people so they try to stop it. I love your list. It is growing and I am so happy for you. 3 more weeks and I get to buy your book. Woohoo!!!!!!!!

    • (((Ruth))) 😀

  2. even the few short paragraphs you’ve written here, about when you spoke about your horse, conveys enthusiasm, passion, love, and excitement … now you’ve captured that elusive genie-in-a-bottle and have cracked the code on how to translate that same passion into your writing … and your list keeps getting longer, and stronger, and is becoming a more of an accurate reflection of who you are (versus what other people have tried to convince you that you are). nice post 🙂

    • Whoohoo! Yes! Funnily enough, my passion is coming across more and more in my books. I honestly feel like I’ve had a part of me restored. Thanks (((ntexas99))) It’s such a joy to see you.

  3. Many people are still really uncomfortable with the whole notion of a romance novel… even though they think grisly suspense novels are fine (go figure)…

    • LOL! Hadn’t thought of that. 🙂

  4. Yay for your growing list!
    Yay for your passion and love and enthusiasm and liveliness!
    Yay for Judy!

    • 😀 Thanks for the cheering!

  5. I don’t know why enthusiasm is sometimes scary for done people. It’s one of my favorite things about myself.

    I’m not really good at moderation. I’m kind of if a mind that moderation is equivalent to doing things “half-assed”.

    I love your lists about your positive qualities.

    • 😀 Thanks, Pandora Viltis.

  6. Great post, I hadn’t look at it like that – moderation as a way to control. That is really true. Thanks for the different perspective on it. xxoo T Reddy

    • You’re welcome, peersncareers. What I think is closer to the truth is that narcissists and predators and their ilk are able to twist anything even remotely reasonable and good into a tool of power and control over others. I’m learning I need to consider the source of the message.

      • It is so weird and exciting how everything looks, feels, smells differently. Tired phrases like ‘everything in moderation’ are not based on any known truths. xx T

        • Nope. They’re not. I think it’s one of the members of Casting Crowns who calls them Bible Fables. Like “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” It isn’t in the Bible, anywhere. It ties in with one of my main tools: Stop lying, especially to yourself. I hope it’s understood that I mean this not in a negative way but a positive one. Questioning everything I was taught growing up meant questioning down to the core. I was able to embrace my faith and let go of the insanity passed off to me as faith… Wow… this is turning into a post. 🙂 Monday!

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