Posted by: Judy | August 29, 2012

Chapter 17…

This may be one of the toughest tools in the box: Forgiveness.

This is also an ongoing study. The chapter is a bit disjointed, but I think it reveals my personal struggle with this important tool.

God forgives and forgets. God is perfect.

Interestingly enough, I had someone point out that I rarely mention one of my early abusers and when I do it’s without anger or any hard feelings at all. What’s different? This person stopped and promised to never do it again and didn’t. Whether or not I forgave them didn’t change them. They made their own changes. Whether or not I forgave them changed me, allowed me to let go of the hurt and anger.

Why in the world would anyone believe that someone else should forgive them simply because they want it to be so while refusing to change their offensive behavior? Who’s the unreasonable one here?

Was that snarky? It felt snarky. I’m not sorry.

Yep, I’m still working on this one.


  1. Yeah… it helps a lot when they actually stop doing it.

  2. Oh, and what you said wasn’t snarky at all. It was reasonable, which is something we were taught — and continue to be taught — is snarky.

    • You’re right. I don’t think i’ve often verbalized it before. Being reasonable is not snarky. Maybe if I say it often enough I’ll believe it. 🙂

  3. We were taught that the abuser expecting forgiveness had no intention of stopping…they just didn’t want any consequences. I appreciated learning that forgiveness did not mean I trusted the person again. Like you said…I a work in progress.

    • Yep.

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