Posted by: Judy | June 10, 2012

A quote from someone who understands abuse…

Hugh A. Stafford spent six years in a Vietnamese prison camp: “Don’t dread suffering that only makes it worse. Anticipate it. Predict it. Even exaggerate it, in your anticipation of it. Don’t fight a neurosis or a symptom of one; it may actually be a friend in disguise, a mere symptom of a deeper disturbance rendered less severe by it. A neurosis may be actually a vital protective shield. Detach yourself from it. Predict it. Exaggerate it, and laugh at it. It can safely and effectively be ridiculed away but not torn away. Try to find meaning in every circumstance. Meaning varies with the individual, and with him it varies by the hour. The meaning for a particular moment may simply be to endure that moment in a manner that you can be proud of, but be aware of false pride. Don’t expect too much. Perhaps, in retrospect, it will show that it was meaningful enough just to have endured. To Survive. To have tried. Perhaps, in the end it will be just as meaningful to look back and say, ‘I tried’ as it would be to say, ‘I succeeded.'”


  1. Thanks for sharing this. It reminds me that what I lived through really was a prison and that talking about it is the right way to heal. Secrets just allow the perpetrator off the hook and leaves the victim with shame.

    • Well said.

  2. […] Judy’s Blog: A Quote From Someone Who Understands Abuse Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like […]

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