Posted by: Judy | May 14, 2012

Chapter 13…

The Attitude of Gratitude…

It sounds so simple, and it so isn’t.

There are those who would tout counting your blessings as a way of dealing with depression. Gratitude is somehow the wonder “drug” for making everything all right. Gratitude will cure all problems. If you’re grateful, then you won’t dwell on your problems.

The truth:

Gratitude does NOT solve problems, except the problem of ingratitude.

What gratitude does:

Gratitude opens the door to seeing the world in a different light. Seeing the world in a different light offers the opportunity for new ideas and possibilities to present themselves. New ideas change the world. Sometimes it’s simply applying an old idea in a new way, and all it needs to be is new to you.

When I’m grateful my problems don’t change, but my belief in my ability to meet those challenges shifts.

Gratitude reminds me it isn’t all about me. Gratitude humbles me, reminding me I do nothing wholly alone. Knowing I do nothing alone unlocks my inability to ask for help, and there I am needing to be grateful. It spirals. The danger is in choosing to not be caught in the spiral, choosing to not be grateful to anyone. It yanks me out of the circle, and then I stumble and fall.

What I’ve discovered is to WHOM I owe my gratitude. A narcissist demands their just dues. To a narcissist, you can never be grateful enough, often enough. Someone who is healthy understands the need to express gratitude and move on, because there is more to do, more to face, more to overcome. A narcissist wants recompense. Someone who is healthy appreciates being acknowledged but also wants the gratitude passed along in the form of helping someone else.

Gratitude doesn’t solve problems, so much as provides the vision and humility to accept the help needed when it is offered. Then it shares with others.

At least that’s how it strikes me, at the moment.

Gratitude is not a simple matter, not by any stretch of the imagination. It is an absolutely vital tool in my box of gifts for surviving abuse, and eventually thriving.


  1. “Knowing I do nothing alone unlocks my inability to ask for help, and there I am needing to be grateful.” This is awesome thought. I hadn’t thought of gratitude as a way to unlock my fear of asking for help. This is very cool. Thanks.

    • Me neither, until I wrote it. You’re welcome.

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