Posted by: Judy | April 25, 2012

Living in Egypt…

Rabbi Daniel Lapin had a great article in his newsletter for Passover, about still living in Egypt. I realized I was born and raised a slave in Egypt, and I’m still living there.

“Our Egypt?” you ask. Yes, our slavery to whatever circumstances block the path to our own Divine destiny.

Thought Tools by Rabbi Daniel LapinΒ http://www.rabbidaniellapin.com/index.php

After reading the article, I decided it was time to stop living in Egypt. I’m preparing to leave. It means changing things about myself that are holding me back, things like not taking proper care of myself.

I’m throwing myself more fully into my writing. I tremble when I read about how difficult it is to make it as a writer, and wonder what in the world I was thinking. And yet, everything led me to where I am now.

Then I have to ask myself: What’s the worse that can happen? I end up broke. Again. Been there, done that, more than once. A part of me wonders when I’ll finally learn. Maybe this is it. Maybe not.

I think this qualifies as a Game Changer. It’s certainly a new perspective. The goal is to stop being a slave in Egypt and become free to grow as God always intended.

The real Game Changer, the other night I received an email from my editor, my real editor, letting me know we’d start the beginning of May, with the goal of finishing by the end of May. It was a friendly email. Really. I felt cold all over, and a bit queasy.

Add to this: I’m attending my first writers’ conference, ever. I’ve been to other conferences, but this is my first writers’ conference, and I’m considered a published author, though the books don’t start coming out until August. I’m not looking for a publisher. I have a publisher. I’m a writer. Maybe if I say it often enough I’ll believe it.

Here’s my struggle: There’s this little part of me, the old habit part, that is afraid people will find out I’m not so great. No one will want to read what I’ve written, and I’ll be an utter failure.

There.

It’s out there.

Wow.

That is now my biggest fear.

What a change from when I lived in fear of abuse.

All of a sudden, it isn’t quite so scary.


Responses

  1. Thanks I needed to read this right now. Hugs. They will love your books. πŸ™‚

    • You have to say that; you’re my sister. πŸ˜€ Of course, as we both know, you don’t have to, but it’s fun to say something normal siblings would say. LOL!

  2. By any chance, is the conference you are going to Book Expo? If so, I’d love to meet up with you if you are interested, for coffee or lunch or whatever.

    • No, but now I wish it were! πŸ˜€

      • Sigh… for some unknown reason WordPress is being squirrelly. The above is me. Bah. πŸ™‚

        • Lol. I wanted to add that I’m sorry we won’t get to meet up at Book Expo, but I hope the conference you are attending will be a huge success for you.

      • Phooey! Maybe you’ll have to go next year to sign autographs. It’s such a great event, but I still have dozens of freebee books from last year in my to be read list. Im hoping they do more ebook advanced reader copies this year, lol.

        • In June, next year, I’m already scheduled for a readers’ conference. πŸ™‚ So much to do, and so little time! There may be other conferences though.

  3. I know you will do fine at this conference!! You are already considered a published author… I’ll say it again, “You are already considered a PUBLISHED author!”…that should speak volumes to you :D…

    You are a wonderful writer, as proven by the chapters you have shared with us. All you need is to remember to move your feet and breathe.

    something I have learned about worry: 9 times out of 10, we worry about something that hasn’t happened yet. We worry about “maybe” and “what if” scenarios, generally. What does that do? It keeps us frozen, zaps us of our self-confidence and expends energy that we need for everything that already “is”. You’ll need that energy for things to come. Harness it! Huggs, Judy!

    • ((hugs)) Thank you, lifebgins45. I’m sitting here bawling. You have no idea how much I needed this, right this minute. A gentleman called and asked me about doing some transcribing for him. It sounds like an answer to prayer, some cash inflow. He’s calling me back on Wednesday to let me know what he wants to do. He needed an idea of cost. It was really amazing, since he’s decided to write his wife’s biography. I was able to answer a lot of his questions simply because of what I know about the publishing industry. Hours passed, and now I’m wondering if it’s safe, if he was fishing for information, if there’s something more sinister there. There is absolutely no way for me to know.

      Taking a deep breath, and letting it go. I can’t do anything more, except turn it over to God. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being my angel when I needed one.

      • πŸ˜€ You have been such a blessing to me I can’t express. Only God knows what we need at any given time. I’m glad this helped!

        • God knows, and allows us the privileged of being His hands. πŸ™‚


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