Posted by: Judy | April 20, 2012

Romance continued…

I enjoyed this post from The Background Story, and thought I’d share before starting in on today’s reflection. It sort of ties in to claiming my life.

Ten years ago, when I embraced my emotions again, thanks to the movie Lord of the Rings, I made a whole new circle of friends. One of those very dear friends, re-introduced me to romance. I had to squelch the protests of “the bitch.” My new friend meant more to me than the “image.”

I thank God, every day, for sending into my life friends who believe in Him and in His love for us, no matter how imperfect we are.

I love a good romance story. I love even more great characters. As I’ve mentioned, I don’t care for foul language. It’s a distraction. I really don’t like it when someone uses Christ as a swear word. It breaks my heart. I also know others don’t hold Christ in their heart the way I do. I don’t hold it against them. I love smart women and smart men. I like them to be strong, honorable, and yes sexually attractive to each other.

So why do I read romance novels? Yes, I know there are those who are snarkily belittling me. Romances aren’t realistic. Life does not end in Happily Ever After (HEA).

HULLO?! I know that! But knowing it doesn’t mean I don’t wish it would. I don’t read “real life” stories (except for a few autobiographies and biographies), because I already know life is painful and frequently turns out badly. I don’t need the reminder. Again, HULLO? Living example. Right here. No, I don’t think I’m living HEA. I still spend most of my time in depression. Trust me, it’s safer for everyone, especially me.

So why romance novels?

In a romance novel, I see how it’s supposed to work. I can even create it in my own writing. I can’t make it work in my own life. Knowing I can’t have it, because the only men interested in an emotional cripple like me are abusers – I know, because been there, done that – it is devastating when it is all I ever wanted: A family of my own, with a husband who loves me and children we love. I put a stranglehold on my dreams by adding one condition: Healthy. It has to be healthy. I’m not. I’m working on it, but I’m not. I will not pass on the insanity to another generation. It stops here.

When I’m writing a romance novel I give my characters everything I can never have. What a precious gift God has given to me. He didn’t take away my dreams, He made them possible.

Fun side note: My current crush is Jimmy Thomas. He’s gorgeous, sexy, respectful, and kind. He’s also completely out of my league and totally unattainable. It makes him safe. He is the role model for all my heroes. They don’t all look like him or think like him, but they all feel like him.


  1. Nice roll model. 🙂 We dream…..Hugs to you.

    • 🙂 ((Ruth))

  2. I like romance novels too, but I went through few years where I got all snooty about them. I’m glad I got over that.

    • Me, too! 🙂

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