Posted by: Judy | March 20, 2012

Making a different choice…

It’s been a while since I’ve visited this thought. I haven’t been back to it since I worked through Harpy’s Child’s list of Narcissistic characteristics.

I feel like I’m back where I was when I was young, absolutely intolerant of any lying. I don’t like feeling like this. There has to be a way to deal with this in a healthy manner.

Changing the narcissists is not an option.

What do I do to create peace for me in spite of the insanity of being around narcissists?

I’m honest enough to admit there are plenty out there, and I come into contact with them both at home and out and about. Hiding and avoiding is not an option. It requires I live less, in order to escape them. What a stupid choice to make on my part. I want to live more not less.

So what do I do?

Maybe this is all about the fact I’m focusing on my chapter on anger.

Highly possible, and even probable. In the chapter, I recognize how dangerous anger can be, but also the importance of accepting anger.

My sister talked about anger being the early warning system that her boundaries were violated. My mother and my father violate my boundaries on a regular basis. Is it any wonder I’m angry, a lot? I don’t want to live my life this way.

So, maybe it’s time to look at this differently.

Okay, my boundaries are regularly violated. I understand that. I’m learning to set better boundaries, and I’m learning to protect them better.

Perhaps it’s time to move onto the next chapter. I think I’ve mastered this last one. Hmmm… maybe what I really needed was to realize I have mastered it. I didn’t allow my temper to take control. I didn’t yell at anyone except myself. I recognized my boundaries were being violated and how. And I realize I need to find healthier choices for handling the insanity I live in.

A consideration: I usually go to L.A. at the end of March. In fact, I also went in September. I couldn’t go last year, and I can’t go this year. I’m sure that plays a part in my frustration. I only go for a weekend, a few days, but I always come back refreshed. I haven’t had a vacation in over a year and a half. That might have something to do with it. It’s something to consider.


Responses

  1. I wish I had a magic carpet or broomstick I could loan you. šŸ™‚

    • I think the broomstick would be more appropriate at this point. šŸ˜€


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