Posted by: Judy | March 14, 2012

Sharing upsi’s post…

This was upsi’s post, yesterday:

It’s unsettling to see someone who doesn’t know you pour out your life onto the page. It sadder realizing they had to live through it, too, in order to understand on such a basic level, and so did everyone else who chimes in, recognizing the insanity they also grew up in.

The article grabbed me from the first paragraph and held me to the end. Am I using this to point fingers? No. I read this article to help me recognize I’m not crazy. I’m not imaging the insanity. What I grew up in was not healthy, no matter how people try to twist the truth. I am healthy enough already to realize this.

Hey… I just realized I’m much healthier than I thought. Go me. πŸ™‚

After I wrote the above, The Invisible Shadow posted what I thought was a good follow up.

Being the child of a narcissist, there is the constant vigilance to not be used. Sometimes, in my efforts to avoid being taking advantage of, I’ve missed out on opportunities to simply be kind to someone else. I’ve often become caught up in my frustrations and forgotten to be grateful for the blessings lurking nearby, if I would only open my eyes and see. I especially loved the two videos included.


  1. It’s interesting, even as a kid, I was constantly wondering — no doubt because I was so out of step with what so many kids were doing(i.e., conforming, just to be popular, even if it meant doing the wrong thing) — it made me wonder, often, if I was crazy, and they were normal. They were “normal” in the sense that they followed society’s “norms” at the time — but they were crazy for following them. I was SANE because I knew I should NOT be doing that stuff (I’m talking about drinking, drugs, smoking, promiscuity, dating just because ‘you’re supposed to’, even when there’s no one there worth dating, etc.)..
    It only took me 40 years to figure this out, lol. Well, maybe 35 years.
    So, maybe I’m sane, but I’m also slow??? lol. Gotta be able to laugh.

    I realize that very little of this is related to your post. Your post was referring to insanity, what was normal/healthy and what wasn’t , etc. And wondering whether or not you were crazy… and realizing it wasn’t you, it was your folks(and mostly your mom). It’s hard to escape that mental/emotional trap, but you have done it! Keep it up!

    So tired. Sorry haven’t been here much. Got home around 7, was in bed by 740 and asleep within moments. A little better this AM. It will be an extremely long day, however. It’s Wed. And yet another person — not @ my location, but at another city– is moving away @ end of month. Sadly,, they were a really good worker, a very nice person, and a manager. So now I’m worried (all over again) that my manager might leave, to fill in that spot. Notice I am not mentioning any names or my workplace here. I did that on purpose. The Internet never forgets, so I am not giving specifics.
    Hope your day and week go well.

    • Thanks, Mary, for being one of those who helped me find sanity. You are in my prayers, every day.

  2. Dad fit it to a T and I was trained to follow in his foot steps. My counselor changed all that by holding a mirror up to my behavior. Change is tough, lies are tougher. In order to have peace at all cost you have to lie. However, my change was attributed to you. I think they’re right, you led by example. Truth first. Integrity always. No room for Peace at all cost.

    • I’m such a difficult child. Am I maybe a little too proud of it? Maybe. ;-D

      • I am proud of you too. πŸ™‚

  3. Thank you Judy for taking the time to share others thoughts
    I liked it and it captured my attention and I rode with her energy till the end…
    I didn’t realize until a while ago my father wasd narcisstic and i am drawn to those like him, now i take one step back as I encounter new people in my life, especially men, I now see so much more of the traits as I rely on my intuition, or trust in my intution I should say, for i was in a space of doubting again…
    I’m doing better these days, just because i am me again,

    the videos were really good, …and i will tell her so as soon as I gather my thoughts on her blog…
    I like being drawn to those who have had similar experiences as me, instead of the narcissitic ones…much calmer….
    and I learn to look at things in a different light lately…I like that…
    Thanks again Judy, I appreciate this kindness of sharing you do so well..
    Take Care….
    You Matter…..

    • You’re welcome, maryrose.

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