Posted by: Judy | February 3, 2012

We’re off to see the Wizard…

Oh, wait… that’s me!

I’ve been struggling with the role assigned to me, trying to define it in a humorous way. In many blogs about narcissists, the central narc is referred to as the Wicked Witch, and those who rally to her are her minions or Flying Monkeys.

How did I fit into the story?

I didn’t feel like Dorothy. Not entirely. I did feel like the other characters, from time to time, i.e, the brainless Scarecrow, the heartless Tin man, and the cowardly lion. But none was me, not wholly.

Then it dawned on me: I’m the Wizard of Oz. The narc has assigned me as the Great and Powerful Oz, capable of solving all problems, all the while whispering in my ear, “I know you’re only the man behind the curtain.”

Narcissist tell their victims that what happened to them was their own fault. The scapegoat is responsible for the happiness of the narc. The scapegoat is responsible for the anger, for the unfulfilled hopes and dreams, for the narc’s sense of well being.

The problem is it’s all a lie. The scapegoat is actually powerless. They are taught that they will die without the “collective.” They are taught they are worthless, stupid, powerless, and yet they are the source of all the pain in the family. If they would just (fill in the blank). It doesn’t matter that doing (fill in the blank) won’t be right or enough or will change.

I’m laying down my role as the Wizard of Oz. I may have to live in the same vicinity as Oz, but no one has the power to force me to pretend like it’s real. My feet are finally firmly in Kansas, and I’ve discovered I really like living here. It’s an interesting place with a lot of amazing people.


  1. Explains why I don’t like green. I am sick of the Emerald city and I want the stupid horse to stay the same color. It isn’t cute or funny any more.

    • Yes. Real life is truly exciting and interesting, and all the glowing green and changing colors are unnecessary distractions from genuine living.

  2. I especially liked this part: “no one has the power to force me to pretend like it’s real”

    I hear this voice in your head: I reserve the right to reject all your bullsh*t, and furthermore reserve the right to ignore you completely. If I am the Wizard in this Land of Oz, then I abdicate my position as a monkey over to you, thereby bestowing on you the ability to … fly away, monkey, fly away.

    • I LIKE IT!!! 😀

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