Posted by: Judy | January 12, 2012

Happy childhood?

Yesterday’s post brought to mind the struggle I’ve had of late.

Did you have a happy childhood?

Well, not particularly.

Do you remember anything happy in your childhood? Surely you have some happy memories.

How do I explain?

Not really.

Adding to the whole depressing mess was finishing The Snow Angel, a book about surviving abuse. The mother was raised by an alcoholic mother, and a father who didn’t protect her. She shares her memories with her daughter, who views some of them as happy memories, seeing the sunny side. She was fed and clothed and sheltered, and her dad did try she realized.

It sent me on a mad dash into my own memories. There is so much I don’t remember.

For quite a while now, I’ve been searching for any happy childhood memories. There aren’t any. Everything always held an edge of drama, impending doom, anxiety that never went away.

So if you wonder why I become silent when happy conversations of the past come up, now you know. How do you explain that you would feel guilty for spoiling the fun by sharing your own past? Silence can be kinder.


Responses

  1. ((((((Judy)))))) Cyber hugs. Instead we can talk about happy futures. 🙂

    • Amen to that! 😀


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