Posted by: Judy | December 12, 2011

Being a Blessing…

The world is a very different place now that I’ve decided that I want more than anything to be a blessing.

When I went shopping the other day and found myself in a slow-moving line, instead of becoming impatient, I had the strongest feeling that I was there for a reason. The two people in front of me had not been patient with the cashier, so I made a special effort, telling her how much I loved when the Yoplait was on sale, and the eggs were a great deal at 88 cents, especially since they could be frozen. She’d never heard of freezing eggs, so I babbled about how to freeze eggs. We talked through the whole checking out process, and we laughed. It was a blessing to me as well.

I am amazed at the change that is being wrought in me. Finally, I am able to pray every day to be a blessing, and know that it is a good and worthy request and one that I’m not only able to fulfill, but am meant to fulfill. I am meant to be a blessing. Every person is. Some choose to be a blessing, and some do not.

My third counselor gave me an assignment early on. It was the 5/50 challenge. I had to do something good, every day. Whatever I chose to do had to meet two requirements: It could not take more than 5 minutes and could not cost more than 50 cents. I smiled at people. I felt like that was cheating, because I had a habit of doing that anyway. I picked up garbage on my walks or while I waited for the bus. I let others go ahead of me in lines. I really felt like a cheater. I did all those things already. Oh, I also had to write down what I’d done. Fine.

When I returned for my visit, he asked me what I’d learned. “I already do all that kind of stuff, though I was a little more conscious that I do it. But I felt like I was cheating, because it wasn’t something new.”

He gave me a tolerant smile. “Every time you wrote down what you’d done, you were writing, ‘I am a good person.'”

I stared at him, a total blank. Not a good sign. It did not help me to see that I was a good person. In some ways, it made it worse, because I’d begun to feel like a cheater. I’d always done that kind of thing, and that negative tape still screamed at me. He shook his head, and decided the exercise was an epic fail. He didn’t ask me to continue it.

What I realize now is that it planted a seed. Over the next several years, the idea shifted, changed, morphed, and was reborn as “I want to be a blessing.”


Responses

  1. You Are. 🙂


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